ONE DAY AT A TIME

Home Thrifting

2012-02-25T19:33:00.001-05:00

Yay! I love being home*, the thrift stores are amazing compared the ones in my itty bitty town*.
*It gets so confusing on here having two "homes"
I got tons of stuff, especially when I ran out today, and spent way too much money. But I'm trying to ignore that, because I think it was worth it.
Especially since the majority of my stuff was thrifted.
I will share everything I bought once I get back home.
But I guess I am reviving my love for animal prints, which I kind of thought was long dead.
These all appealed to me at the first Salvation Army we went to yesterday:

Conversations With The DS Boy

2012-02-24T12:37:00.000-05:00

Me: Danny, you need chapstick, your lips are so chapped.
D: Noo! That's like make-up!
M: No, it's like lotion for your lips. Is lotion make-up?
D: Yeah! It's like beauty-stuff

Got My Herr Did

2012-02-23T16:06:00.002-05:00

I had my hair appointment this afternoon, I was so nervous, I felt like I was going to the dentist.
Once I got there I was fine, but I haven't had a professional touch my hair in about a year.
Gretchen says she can barely even tell the difference, but I feel like it's so much shorter.
But I love it!
Because my hair isn't flat anymore.
Apologize for the awkward, unflattering photo but I took it to send to Paige and then decided to just use it here instead of taking a less awk one.

The ironic thing is, I used a picture of Carrie Underwood's hair to show the stylist what I wanted.
Headed home in about an hour, can't wait!
I haven't even started packing yet, need to get on that!

You Don't Know Her

2012-02-23T00:31:00.004-05:00

I try not to make it a habit to talk about music on here, because I am super obsessive about it and everyone would get so bored.

But I just love songs that totally make you weak in the knees.
I don't even know why, but this song makes me like that.

Especially:

So don't try to tell me I'll stop hurting
Don't try to tell me she ain't worth it
'Cause you don't know her like I do
You'll never understand
You don't know what we've been through
That girl's my best friend

It just kind of hits me because it's so true.

I love honest songs.

GOODwill

2012-02-22T12:29:00.003-05:00

I had to wake up for work training this morning (blah, we have tons of training classes that we have to take annually) so afterwards I went to Goodwill.
Which was pretty sweet because I usually go in the late afternoon when it's super busy and picked over.
I saw this right when I walked in, and I didn't know if I wanted to spend the $2 for it, but I sucked it up and grabbed it, because I usually don't like flowers or painted pictures but I really liked this one, and it goes with the colors I'm aiming for in my room.
I want to spray-paint the frame aqua to make those colored flowers stand out more.
I am going home tomorrow (yay!). And all I have is GINORMOUS hockey-bag sized suitcase.
So I needed a smaller weekend bag, and this was only 99 ¢ (double yay!)
I got this cute painted picture, which I might put in our LR, since it won't really go with the flow of my bedroom. As if it really has one, hah.
And I've been wanting an old hand-made afghan, love the colors of it, $2.50 :)

And: I gasped really loudly when I saw this giraffe.
If you don't know or forgot, I love giraffes.
Love them.
Next to some certain humans, they are the most beautiful animals in the planet.
One of the ears is broken off, but I can turn it so that's facing the wall, I couldn't pass it up.
And there was tons of these old books, and there's a big picture of two giraffes nuzzling(weird word) that I am going to frame.
I love thrifiting :)

Note To Myself

2012-02-17T22:55:00.002-05:00

I wish I could go back in time and tell myself this:
I keep tearing up, for that girl that I was just a few months ago.
Life is so beautiful, and I love it.
It is so sad to me that I thought it wasn't worth living anymore.
I never want to go back to that person I was, who didn't think they had the strength to go on.
And I never want anyone else to be in that position either.
It always gets better, even when you think it won't, it does.
Don't give up on life when it gets so hard, it hurts so bad and you just want it to be over, keep fighting.
because in the end,
it is worth it.

Lately.

2012-02-17T21:26:00.003-05:00

I have been spending my free time doing little crafts.
I used to be such a perfectionist when I did this stuff but nowadays I don't even give a crap.
If we my words are all crooked then it gives it character.
I like the imperfections.
I like words.

Note To Self

2012-02-17T00:33:00.001-05:00

Lovely

2012-02-15T12:55:00.003-05:00

My calf is in such severe pain today that I literally cannot even walk on it.
Which makes me about 97.6% sure that it is a pulled muscle.
Yaaay!
So I will not being going to the gym.
I'm trying to massage it out so I can get back soon.

And I have to wear flats when I run my errands.
Boo.
And look like a cripple limping around.

Truth Is

2012-02-15T01:33:00.006-05:00

I've never really liked Valentine's day.
I've always thought it was cheesey and lame and over-rated.

Especially when I had a boyfriend, I was all, you better not get me anything or I will seriously punch you in the face.
Seriously.

But this year, I kind of like it. All the reds and the hearts and the love.
And the crafts.
I've been itching to craft lately, thankfully I have tomorrow off because I have a ginormous to-do list.
It's hard to get stuff done when you go to the gym and work every day, and sleep until noon.

(speaking off the gym, ugh, I just did a Jillian work-out again today, then I tried running on the treadmill.
My ankles completely gave way. The arches of my feet were killing. I quit after 3/4 of a mile.
My left calf is in so much pain that I can't even walk on it.
I'm so annoyed that I way over-worked my leg muscles, not heeding any of the warnings to slowly ease into my shoes. Hopefully it gets better soon so I can get back to running! Jillian's probably not even a good idea, but I have to do something.)

I have a huge list of crafts I want to do tomorrow (not to mention cleaning, cooking and grocery shopping AND TAXES) plus my weekly visit to the thrift store.
Tomorrows my day off, then I have seven straight days of working before I get to go home.

I wish I had done more Valentines crafts, but honestly I did not have time.
This is my only one, thrown together literally right before going to the party tonight:

I've been wanting to make one for a long time, with this fabric I have from the first dress I made.
Which by the way, I am now completely afraid to ever wear because it is coming apart at the seams, because I didn't even know about back-stitching when I made it.

I just glued this heart on, but I really need to oil up my sewing machine and put it to use.
I've really been wanting to sew again, I kind of miss it!

Motivate me!

And also, I decided I am going to go get my hair cut.
By a professional.
I haven't paid for a hair cut in well over a year so I am slightly embarrassed.
But at the point where I'm so sick of having crappy hair, I don't even care.
Have to find time to fit that in my life.
Maybe I should go to bed earlier and and wake up earlier?
Might be a good idea.

Trashy Tuesdays

2012-02-14T23:22:00.000-05:00

I think I'm going to start Trash Talk Tuesdays.
So I can have one day to complain about things I don't like.
There is one person, who I feel like everyone loves but I cannot stand:
I couldn't even tell you why, but whenever I hear her or see her, I just cringe.
And immediately change the channel, radio station or flip the page.
I hate when she duets with people I love and total ruins a good song.
I don't even know why, she has a good voice, she's beautiful, but she just bugs me so bad.
She has have like two songs that I like.
I think it's because I feel like she tries too hard, and seems really fake.
I don't even know.

I really like Miley Cyrus.
But can't stand Carrie Underwood.
Find the logic in that.

Is It Any Wonder

2012-02-14T01:39:00.001-05:00

I want to travel somewhere
When this is the first thing I see
When I open my eyes in the morning:

Oh How I Adore You

2012-02-14T01:09:00.004-05:00

As I've mentioned, I recently joined a gym and I love it.
Love it.
Every day I drag myself there, I just feel amazing.
And it's so fun!
Especially when there's no one else there.
Sundays are awesome, because no one is ever there.
I was literally the only girl yesterday, so I had the entire locker room to myself.
So I danced around and sang very loudly.
The ladies up front probably wondered why I earth I took so long in the locker room when I had walked in already dressed my work-out clothes.
But I didn't want to leave, it was just too awesome having that place to myself.

Today, I went at about the same time I usually do but it was so crowded.
Maybe because it was Monday, I don't know, I was sick last week.
All the treadmills were taken.
I was very annoyed, but I went into the other room, that they use for classes and no one uses, and it has all the exercise equipment you could dream of.

It usually has the stationary bicycles filling it up but they were all in the storage closet.
So I had the whole empty room to myself.
With the huge mirrors and space, I feel like I'm in a dance studio.
So of course I did a few leaps and twirls, just for fun.
Notice the door and window, people are always walking by, but I just smile at them.

I did a Jillian work-out, and it was awesome, though a bit easy.
I added extra reps but I'm honestly wondering if I left stuff out.
I was still sweating a little.

I just love my shoes.

Though my ankles are so weak still.
The treadmills were still all full after I was done with my work-out so I grudgingly took a sauna and left.
I guess I'm not supposed to run two days in a row anyways, I always have to take the third day off because my ankles start to give way and my calves feel like they are going to rip off.
I think the main problems is I don't stretch.

What Keeps Me Up

2012-02-11T21:49:00.005-05:00

I always wake up in the middle of the night/early morning and have these delirious conversations with myself, half asleep.
I will stress about the craziest things and it will keep me from falling asleep for a long time, sometimes hours.
This morning I woke up around 8am, and just start thinking about how much I want a pet turtle.
This was my train of thought:

I'm not ordering it online because I don't want to get some poor traumatized turtle.
Aw! He will just be my little buddy.
I have to find a good place to buy it from.
I will name him Titus.
Or maybe after a city in the US.
I'll have to study the map on my wall.
I can keep him in my bedroom.
Do turtles eat crickets? What if the crickets get out in my room?
And then I get mice?
Oh, gross.
What if a mouse gets him?
Wait, mice are smaller than turtles.
I hope he doesn't poop on my bed.
I should wait until Spring because it's so cold in my room, even with heat lamps.
Gosh, that just seems like so much money and time.
Who will take care of him when I go on vacation?
What if someone kills him?
Oh gosh, I would be so sad.
Ugh, poor Titus, I don't want you to die.

Pinterest V. Reality

2012-02-09T22:39:00.004-05:00

I love taking videos, and I've been meaning to take more because they are so fun to look back on.
Oh, speaking of, I uploaded this, it's kind of oldish now, and I did it in my PJs so my little sis could write me a chorus, and I have changed it up a bit but anyways. If you care.
Be nice.
And it shows how messed up my relationships can get sometimes. hah.

All my favorite Youtubers have been making videos of "______ in the Kitchen" and they are so funny to watch.
So I was going to do it yesterday when I went to make this recipe from Pinterest for dairy-free caramel dip:

via

And after I started making it, I wished that I had video-d it.
This is how it went:

Frantically trying to find ingredients in the cupboard as the brown sugar and Rice Dream(the recipe calls for cocunut milk but I don't have that stuff): Oh s***! that stuff melts fast!

Find what I'm looking for, add it.
Look at the recipe again. @#$(*! What the heck is corn starch??
Frantically Bing substitutions(double white flour).

Measure it out, pour it in the pot and mix it.

Eyes bulge out of head.

Taste the "flour"
S***! This isn't flour, this is powdered sugar!
Cussing, why do I ALWAYS DO THIS??

Everything else went smoothly from there on out though.
And it ended up tasting delicious, but gully gee, everything I make has powdered sugar in it when it doesn't even call for it. When flour and powdered sugar clearly do not even look the same.

What I Want

2012-02-09T22:13:00.002-05:00

I love thrifting.
Obviously.
I go at least once or twice a week.
The lady's at Goodwill probably know me by name.
They sure recognize me, and the fact that I leave with a big stack of books every week.
I want to go back to Madison, WI.
Where we went on our sisters trip last fall.
And go thrifting.
There are so many saweet places there, with so many options of wonderful things.
So if anyone wants to go for weekend sometime, call me up!

And I just love the map of the US that I got for a quarter yesterday.
I should get a frame for it, but for now I will probably just pin it on the wall.
Cuz I love maps.

In other news, my poor little voice, I really miss you.
I miss singing.
So bad.
I hate being stuffed up and straining my vocals. My throat needs to get healthy again.

This Has Gotta Be The Good Life

2012-02-08T16:47:00.004-05:00

I am really happy today.
It is beautiful outside.
Though I'm a little stuffed up, I feel pretty pretty good.
I bought bought half of a ham yesterday since it was on sale for only $1.79/lb at Econo. I was so excited, because I've been wanting to make ham.
Except I realized I don't have a clue how to make a ham.
So I checked online and realized I should probably get a meat thermometer.
I had food poisoning once before that was the absolute worse day of my entire life.
So I went out to buy one and run a few errands.
I went to the post office, and then somehow ended up at St. Vinny's, which isn't even in the same town as my post office.
I got a map of the US for a quarter and some sheets for the vintage quilt that I will make some day:
Then I went to Goodwill, where I go at least once a week to buy books.
Seriously, I buy way too many books. But I can't pass them up.
Especially when I saw the big white sign that said: "ALL BOOKS 50% OFF"
Which basically is the equivalent of "FREE PIZZA" at a weight loss convention.
I'm a lot more particular about the books I buy now. If I don't think I will ever read it, I don't buy it, whereas before I would buy a book if it even looked cool.
I scored a few good ones:
I am buying all the Twilight books for my little sister, since they always have random ones there for 99¢.
I'm so excited, because I've been wanting to read The Lord of the Rings, and they had the one volume edition, also a dollar.
I seriously get way too excited over books, I just love them way too much.
I will have a library before you know it.

Now I just have to sit here and smell the ham cook for another forty-five minutes.

Rants

2012-02-07T20:33:00.003-05:00

This is going to be a 75% negative post.

Today, I went shopping at Econo (still boycotting Walmart).
I bought quite a bit of groceries, and a lot of unnecessary items, including chips and that italian soda I'm addicted to.
And since I'm still feeling under the weather, I bought some Alka-Seltzer Plus liquid gels.
Alka-seltzer is usually what I take when I have a cold, but I take the dissolve-able tablets, which are pretty gross, so I decided the capsules would be better.
WRONG.
I am deep-cleaning my apartment today, since I haven't in a very long time, and I'm started to get my energy back.
And about and hour after I take my drugs, I start getting so dizzy.
I thought maybe it was just my blood sugar, since I'm hypoglycemic.
Except after I eat, it started getting worse, the whole apartment was just spinning.
And the roof of my mouth and my tongue started going numb.

I'm basically thinking I'm about to die, considering driving to the ER, except I can barely walk across the apartment without stumbling.
My vision was swimming, I couldn't focus on anything, and when I bent down to pick something up (I'm still cleaning at this point), I would start tipping over when I tried to stand up again.

It is not a cool feeling.
I started to remember that I've always had bad reactions to cold medicines. Even if they claim they are "non-drowsy," they usually make me super dizzy and weird.
Never this bad, though, it was scary.

I'm home alone and I was so afraid I would pass out and my nasal passage would close up and Gretchen would come home from work and find me dead.
So I just decided to sit down and hope it would pass, and if my mouth got any more numb, I would call 911.
It was really hard to stay awake, my head felt like it weighed 100 pounds and I could barely hold it straight.
So I just stared at my laptop for a half hour, until I realized that I could focus my eyes again.
And eventually the heaviness in my head went away.
Needless to say, I will probably not be taking that crap during the day again.

And in other news, I'm so annoyed.
I always check labels so carefully when I grocery shop, I don't buy anything with dairy in it.
But I bought two Naked protein smoothies for after working out, and they use milk protein.
It didn't even cross my mind to check them because I always buy Naked smoothies.
But obviously, the protein ones would have dairy.
At least they are the smaller ones, but still, those things are like $4 each.

Bugs

2012-02-07T13:29:00.002-05:00

On Sunday night, after the glorious win by the Giants, I started feeling kind of crappy.
My throat started hurting, then my head.
During the night, my nose started getting plugged up.
I was tossing and turning most of the night because I felt so awful I couldn't even sleep.
When it was time to go into work, I was debating about calling in sick, but I figured I couldn't sleep anyways so I should just go.
Plus I always feel bad to call in sick. I never do unless I'm in really bad shape. I just suck it up.

I regretted it once I got there though.
I had no energy and my co-workers kept telling me me how crappy I looked and that I should go home.
After the first few hours just dragged by, I called my supervisor to see if I could go home.
When he came in, he told me how crappy I looked and told me to leave.

I love that about being sick, everyone who sees you tells you, "OH! You do NOT look good!"

Thanks, I know?

I went home and slept. All the while feeling so weak, stuffed up, feeling like my head was going to explode.

I made myself some chicken rice soup-ish, I didn't have chicken so I guess it was more of a rice chicken broth.
It was pretty good, but then again I couldn't taste anything so it could've tasted like crap.

I slathered myself in thieves oil and chugged tea, and rested.
I am very anti any kind of medication but I did take some Alka-Seltzer Plus before bed.
During the night I woke up and realized I could breathe out of my nose, which made me very happy.

I am feeling a lot a better today, still slathering on the thieves and drinking the tea, trying to get my energy back.
But my nose and my head are clear, my throat stopped hurting late last night.

I'm still pale and red-nosed with huge bags under my eyes, so if you see me, you don't need to tell me how awful I look.
I know.

Wrap Up

2012-02-07T13:15:00.003-05:00

This was a really fun weekend. I didn't really remember it until I went and looked through the pictures on my phone.
Saturday, I went to the gym and had a pretty good work-out.
For dinner, a bunch of us girls went to Bambu, a local Chinese restaurant, for the second time this week. Yikes, I know. But it is delicious.
And the freaky thing is that our fortunes came true later that night.
Seriously freaked me out.

Sunday we went to morning church in Cal so we could have a Super Bowl Party.
I ate tons of dairy, which was not a good idea.
It was an awesome game, the last two minutes were so intense:
You can probably tell who was rooting for the Giants.
We all jumped up and start screaming/dancing about thirty seconds after this picture was taken.
We had a pool going, gambling on what the score would be and who would win.
We all only gave a quarter, some of the others wanted to do a dollar but I told them I wasn't too thrilled on the idea of gambling.
Until I won.

Go Giants! :)

Day 30

2012-02-01T17:02:00.004-05:00

HAHA! I still didn't finish this! Day 30: Picture of yourself today and five good things that have happened since you started the challenge.
Well, about a million good things have happened to me since the beginning of December, so I will just share five good things that happened to me today.
1. I was actually having a decent hair day.
2. But I had to go join a gym. I did. My gym is pretty sweet and I'm pretty pumped about it, with the sauna and all.
3. I ran in my new shoes for the first time. I only planned on doing one mile, so I jacked me speed up but by the end of one mile, I was feeling so good, I did another.
4. Which means I knocked five minutes off my two mile record
5. I did the rest of my work-out, took a sauna and shower, and I just feel amazing. Checked my mail and I got a letter.

Those shoes use different muscles than shoes with support. I could feel it in my ankles when I was running, and now I can really feel it in my thighs.

I'm super happy today, stocked up on some kombucha and can just chill for the rest of the night :)

Foster Parent

2012-01-31T13:00:00.004-05:00

I will begin by saying, I never thought I would be this person, ever.
I don't know when, but somewhere along the way, I have turned into this tree-hugging, animal-loving super-freak.
I was so determined to prove I would never become a tree hugger when I was younger, I clearly recall an incident where I went around knocking little trees down and killing any living creature I could get ahold of.
And by that, I mean basically just ants.
I was (am?) a huge tom-boy when I was younger, tromping around catching toads, frogs and snakes and getting upset when my brothers blew them up with firecrackers.
So I guess I always kind of had it in me.
But I think Maggie dying just pushed me over the edge.

And I superly badly want a dog. SERIOUSLY.
I just ache for one every day, just my little baby and buddy who loves me no matter what.
I want so badly to be a foster parent for the humane society, and take in dogs that are too young to live there yet.

But mostly I just want one (or two) that are all mine.

I miss dog kisses.

And walks.
And hugs and more kisses.

Songs About Life

2012-01-26T23:56:00.007-05:00

I quit playing guitar slash writing songs a few months ago because I totally and completely lost confidence in it.
I have since started again, as I mentioned.
I always go through streaks like this, of being self-conscious, then not caring, to be self-conscious again.

There's a lyric from Anna Nalick's Breathe that I love because it's so true: "And I feel like I'm naked in front of a crowd, 'cause these words are my diary screaming out loud, and I know that you'll use them however you want to..."

Every song I write is so personal. Though some of it is fiction, the majority of it is true.
It is literally like writing my journal to a melody.
I'm always afraid people are going to see right through the lyrics, especially the people that it's about.
It's terrifying and also a little thrilling, you kind of hope they know it's about them but you kind of hope they don't.

A lot of songs I write are about relationships (and I use the term very loosely) from way in the past.
And some have each verse about a different relationship.
But every single song is a reflection of a real relationship.

Paige is basically the only ones who know the back story and subject of all my songs.

I do like to share what they are actually about, like "this song is about a guy that I stalked for two years," and
"this song is about having feelings for someone else's man"
(coming soon to my Youtube channel^^^)

I basically write a lot of desperate, creepy love songs.
Because I have a tendency to have feelings for people I know I can never be with. Like men who are married or I have never met.

Kind of an exaggeration.

But like I told Paige, good thing my life is so messed up, because it provides musical inspiration.

And now you also know why I am single.

Bless her heart for being such a good friend through my creepiness.
And accomplice.

Today

2012-01-25T15:16:00.002-05:00

It is 3:00 pm and I still have my pajamas on.
It is my [second] day off.
I haven't done my hair.
I have some concoction on the stove consisting of hamburger and rice and other random veggies and seasonings.
I do not have patience to cook rice, I always burn it, cuz it just takes too dang long.
I am chugging my pomegranate italian soda straight from the bottle.
The only thing I've eaten is part of a stale cookie.
I'm blaring my Adele Pandora station.
It is a gorgeous day out there.

I still need to:
Go run do my run/work-out.
Drop all the stuff off at Goodwill that I need to get rid of.
Figure out some craft/project I can do with all the sweaters I keep buying and don't like enough to wear.
Finish writing the song I started the other day.

'Cause oh yeah, I started playing guitar again.
Much to the dismay of my neighbors, I'm sure.

I usually get the urge to play in the early am hours.

Update.

2012-01-23T20:51:00.005-05:00

I would say it's a little bit of an upgrade from my decade-old no-name shoes.
I soooooooo cannot wait to get them!!
I'm seriously giddy.
Hopefully they come by Thursday.
And hopefully I will be so pumped off of them that it will keep me going in to run for a week or so until I get addicted to running again.

I think I might have made fun of them before, but mostly because I didn't think I would ever splurge like this on a pair of shoes.

And I swear to you, that is the end of my online shopping business and impulse purchases.
Two weeks ago, I ordered this necklace:
Except instead of my name, I ordered it to say "Believe"
I'm hoping it's waiting at the post office for me, gotta swing by tomorrow.

Dave Ramsey is basically trying to strangle me right now.

At least the shoes will save me loads of money on medical bills down the road.
Right?

Feetsies.

2012-01-23T18:58:00.002-05:00

I started running.

Okay, I can barely say that, because I only did half-butt yesterday.

I ran a mile, then just walked for awhile because I was starving and had no energy.
Today I actually ate before I went (and brought a Naked with me), and I went super slow, 5mph, but I did two straight miles. It was way too slow though, I wasn't even pushing myself, I like to be dying at the end but I wasn't even close.
But I didn't want to over-exert myself.
Because I am so out of shape.
I will go a lot faster tomorrow.

But I need new shoes, dude!
My current running shoes were these crappy shoes I bought in sixth grade- do the math- eight years ago.
And they were twenty, they actually might have been nineteen, bucks at Payless.
Some no-name crap.
And I've been running in these for years.
Like when I used to run miles, two, four, six miles a day.

So I'm thinking they got a lot more mileage than any pair should ever get.

My ankles, knees and feet are killing me now.
And I've barely even ran.

So, I am looking to invest heavily in a good pair of running shoes, because I want to start hard-core running.

Because I love it.
But not if it's this painful.

Life.

2012-01-22T13:31:00.002-05:00

I Will Die Laughing

2012-01-21T14:22:00.003-05:00

I keep meaning to take pictures of all this lovely snow we got going on out there.
Downstate, we count our snow in inches.
Up here, that's basically impossible.
With all the banks, and drifting, it's really hard to tell how much accumulation we have.
All I know is, every few days, I have to brush a foot or so off my car.
I have not had a problem with this snow at all yet, it's gorgeous. I would rather a winter with a ton of snow than none at all.

I love snow.
Hate ice.

Yesterday, I was running late for work, I didn't factor in the fact that I had to brush literally a foot of snow off my car, so by the time I got on the road I was running late.
And the roads were icy.
I tried taking the first turn too fast and ended up fish-tailing, over-correcting, then over-correcting that. And there was a truck in the other lane.
I was laughing so hard as they rubbernecked at me when they passed by, I had the car under control by then.
I was shaken up a little but just laughing and laughing.

I take the back road to get to work.
It is an decline most of the way.
I was just driving along, then I tried slowing down and realized it was solid ice.
Literally, my brakes were doing nothing and I was accelerating.
I was like oh shit, I'm gonna kill somebody.
Nothing I did made my car slow down, and I started to pass the road I needed to turn unto.
I started losing control of my steering.
I kind of panicked.
I cranked the wheel and aimed for the nice fluffy snow-bank.
I ended up turning 180° and lining up in with the snow-bank.
I could not stop laughing.
I felt like Vin Diesel.

Thank goodness for good tires because I was in there pretty deep, I later realized when I saw the nice imprint I had left.
I drove on out literally drove 5mph the rest of the way, laughing my head off.
And all day I just kept laughing when I thought of how ridiculous it was.

And when I told Gretchen she was all matter of fact, duh, you aren't supposed to take back-roads on icy days unless you want to die.

I have a lot to learn about these UP winters.

Horrors

2012-01-19T21:35:00.004-05:00

You know I hate consistency.
And this freezing weather gets me in a productive mood.
And my room was a mess anyways.
So I crazy deep-cleaned it.
Re-arranged, re-organized and purged like a mad-woman.
One bursting bag for the garbage.
One bursting bag for Goodwill.
I'm such a hoarder, and I hate it, so I just said goodbye to stuff before I could even think about it.
My craft supplies were in the ginormous box that my laptop box came in, full and fulling apart.
They are now in a shoe box.
There's no storage space in this place, so if something didn't fit in my closet, it went in the garbage.
I love moving my bed around, cause I love change.
Except it always has to be against a wall or Freddy Krueger might get me.

My cozy little space.
The suitcase has all my magazines, and the stool has my pajamas.
I just need a place for all those ~~boogers~~ lovelies in the corner.
They are fine there for now though because they are blocking the creepy hole.

There is a hole, about the size of a quarter, right in the very corner of the carpet and floor that I have never noticed before.
It so grosses and creeps me out, I was on the verge of a panic attack last night.
I shoved a plastic bag in there and taped it with masking tape, then covered it with books.

It's just so nasty, it's so black and I don't know how far back it goes, but it took the whole grocery bag.

I was up until almost 8am, waiting for the sun to come up so I could go to sleep because I was so freakin scared of this blasted hole.

I hate dark stuff you can't see.

Winter Days

2012-01-17T23:36:00.007-05:00

Today is exactly the kind of day I was picturing at the end of summer when I was getting sick of the hot weather being outdoors.
The freezing, crappy winter days where you just cozily do crafts in the little apartment.
I ran out to Goodwill this afternoon and the weather was positively terrible.
So I took my time and picked up something to do indoors today.
I bought a pillow cover, tons of picture frames, and of course I can't pass up books*.
I painted one of the larger frames with the free sample of like I even remember the brand paint that I got last summer.

I used stencils to put one of my favorite lyrics from one of my favorite songs unto freezer paper.
Cut it out with an x-acto knife.
Ironed it to the fabric.
Painted over it.
Peeled it off.

And apparently, freezer paper doesn't iron as well to textured fabric as the normal cotton, which is all I've used before.
All well.
The fabric scissors I got for Christmas are seriously amazing.
I've been using normal scissors for fabric for so long, it's soooo much easier now.
I threw it in the frame, that's probably not even dry, and the fabric paint's probably not even dry.
But I'm too impatient to wait or care.
So that's one more thing to hang on my drab walls.
And oh yeah.
I'm supremely embarrassed by all the clutter in this, I need to clean my room really good but I've been tearing out photo spreads that I love (basically all of them) from Marie Claire magazine and taping them on my wall by my pathetic little closet.
I initially wanted to put them on the ceiling but, yeah, not gonna happen.
*And as for the murderers book, I couldn't pass it up.
I am just fascinated by horrific crimes like murder.
I always have been, serial killers, even though they are my biggest fear, just fascinate me beyond belief. As someone who feels bad to kill spiders, I just don't understand how someone could be so emotionally detached that they could end someone's life.

I made chili yesterday, and it's basically gone.
I made sugar cookie dough today, cuz I've been craving it.
And I put some hamburger thawing in the fridge for tomorrow.
Good day.

Oh, UP Summer....

2012-01-16T21:30:00.001-05:00

I do actually love winter, and I'm not even sick of it at all.
But I just adore summer up here.
It's kinda hard not to:

Day 29: 3 Wishes

2012-01-14T00:13:00.004-05:00

I make a wish every 11:11
Eleven is my absolute favorite number.

I also make a wish every time I go through a yellow light.
I know, that's not really how the yellow light deal works but I'm a dreamer, I make my own rules.

I actually only ever wish for one thing.
I know you aren't supposed to tell people what you wish for.

But really, I am not that superstitious.

And besides, don't we all I want this?

So every time I make a wish; yellow lights, 11:11, shooting stars, full moons(yeah, I wish on those too), I wish for one, simple thing:

Happiness.

Day 28: Something that stresses you out

2012-01-13T23:16:00.002-05:00

Yup, hahahaha I'm still doing this stupid challenge.

Literally, everything stresses me out.

Work.
Bad weather.
Messes.
Dry skin.
Bad hair days.
Work.
Dairy.
Things I don't know.
Things I do know.
Work.
Not sleeping.
Waking up.
Work.
Money (or lack of).
Stalkers.

Freddy Krueger.

Death Eaters.

Lord Voldemort.

Whoops, Forgot A Title

2012-01-11T22:31:00.005-05:00

One of my goals is to start eating.
Not just eating healthy, but eating, period.
People ask me why I don't eat.
And the best excuse I can give is this-I am too lazy to scrub the toilet.

Let me walk you through it.

Say I decide to eat. I want to make an egg sandwich- easy enough.
So I make the sandwich, and then I have all these dishes.
So I wash the dishes.
When I wash the dishes, I wipe the counters down.
When I wipe the counters down, I sweep the floors.
When I sweep the floors, I have to scrub them.
When I scrub the kitchen floor, I scrub the bathroom floor.
When I scrub the bathroom floor, I have to clean the entire bathroom.

And THAT is why I don't eat- I'm just way too danged lazy.

I'm trying not be be so danged lazy.
I want to start eating at home again, not just the (mostly processed) food at work.
I love cooking, I am trying to find the motivation to start again.

I love my veggies.
It's just, those things are too much work.
You have to take them out, wash them, cut them, ugh.

Did I mention I was lazy?

Today I sauteed green onions, shrooms, broccoli and carrots in olive oil with ginger.
These are my carrots which I am currently eating like potato chips:

Dang straight I bought pre-washed, pre-shredded carrots.
'Cause I'm lazy.

Tonight when I came home from work I baked myself some asparagus(my favorite veggie!) with broccoli.

I'm trying.
I have just been itching to start working out.
I love working out.
It just takes a lot to get me into the routine of doing it.
I tried running on the treadmill at work last night but I'm just such a little speedster that I broke it after half a mile.
Cause apparently you can't go fast on it or it overheats.
Whoops.

BUT I think I will finally be joining a gym tomorrow. :)

Craves and Raves

2012-01-08T13:52:00.007-05:00

Yesterday, I made my second purchase on Etsy.
My first was a year ago, and I never shared it because it was a birthday present for someone.
And then I didn't give feedback in time, and I have been feeling bad since, because I loved it.
The shop is a lovely little thing called Long Winter Soap Co.
They sell home-made soaps, creams and lip balms.
I ordered lip balms, peach for myself and I think vanilla mint for Paige.
Gosh, I loved that stuff.
It's just a tiny little tube that smells positively delicious.
It actually lasted me about six months.
It was best when it was in your pocket and softened up, when it's not, it's kind of hard and doesn't work so great.
But when it's softened up, it's amazing.
Everyone was always asking about it, because they've never seen it anywhere.
I just cannot justify spending that much on lip balm at this date.
It comes to almost five bucks after shipping.
It's kind of almost worth it.

I kind of want the "Unicorn Farts" flavor.

If any of my suga-friends wanna hook a sister up.

New Years, Poo Years

2012-01-07T21:26:00.005-05:00

Good thing I didn't really make any legit new years resolutions.
Cuz I sure ain't keeping any of my pretend ones.
My only semi-realistic one was to stop swearing.
And literally, five minutes into the new year I broke it.
I kinda try not to, but not really.
I find ways to cheat it anyways.
Like, if I say it with a British accent, it doesn't count.

I've realized that I talk in a British accent in awkward situations.

And I have a really bad British accent, so I'm pretty sure it's not doing anything but making it more awkward.

Mama's Always Right

2012-01-06T23:30:00.000-05:00

Growing up, I always tried to get my mom to let me paint my bedroom walls white.
I thought that it would be sweet because then I could put all this colorful crap on the walls.
But now I know, would way rather have colorful crap on colorful walls.
The white is driving my nuts.
I'm trying to bring color to the place but it's just so blah.

Oh how I miss the color of my room at my parents.

New Beginnings, Mega Ramblings

2012-01-03T23:33:00.005-05:00

I say this every year, but I just love it.
Every new year, I write a letter to myself in the previous year.
I could probably share my one from last year, because I actually superly filtered it with the intention that I would put it on here but never got around to it.
Most years I don't. I warn myself about all the people who stab me in the back, at the tragedies that will happen and hint at all the amazing events to come in the year.
I love doing this, because I feel like in a way, I am getting closure from the previous year. It also kind of gives me a little bit of perspective as to where my life is now.
I still have to write the letter for 2011.
I have been horrible with writing these days.
But it's one of my new years resolutions to write more.

#40 on my bucket list is to take a picture every day for a year. Paige is doing that, and I totally should but I doubt I will at this point.
Even though it is so very easy to take pictures these days, considering I always have my phone with me. Just photographing simple little daily objects would be so awesome.
It is one of my new years resolutions to take more pictures though. Which I will do.

I bought this today at the Co-op, where I spent way too much money.

Stuff's a lot more expensive that I thought it would be. But I bought it anyways. I don't even know when I will get around to mixing it up or using it.

I'm currently listening to my "Yoga" channel on Pandora.
And it's basically making me fall asleep but I love it.
My main goal of the new year is to relax.

I had a cigarette this past weekend.
It was very planned out.
And it wasn't even good.
Not worth giving up my three month streak.

I bought Tofu and vegan butter today, I want to start cooking again.
And eating.
For the record, I don't really like soy yogurt :/

I really should be saving my money in case my car craps but I really am getting the itch to take a trip somewhere.
Might make a spontaneous trip to Vegas some weekend if anyone wants to come with.

I am so horrible with mailing stuff out.
Seriously, pathetic.
Sorry.

I want so badly to get a Polaroid camera.
And take a picture every day and journal with it.
Film is expensive.
I'm going to do it though.

I need to start reading again.

I feel like the holidays threw my whole life schedule for a loop.
But I don't mind.

I never do posts like this.
'Cause they are kinda boring.

I just can't seem to stop though.

Speaking of stopping, I will actually finish the blog challenge some day.
That was completely dumb of me to do it in December.

Day 27: Original Photo of the city you live in

2012-01-03T13:38:00.004-05:00

Beautiful, right?
My favorite is when it's covered in snow.
I love this place.

Day 24: What I've learned

2011-12-29T13:39:00.010-05:00

Here are my 100 life lessons from 2010. I haven't read them since so I hope there's nothing too embarrassing... Some are serious, most are stupid.

ETA: since you can't even read my crappy pictures and I have no life, I will type them all.
And bold my favorites.
(If you can't tell, I was just coming out of a painful break-up and stuck at home, itching to move away.)

1. Love your life, even if it sucks. (If you don't enjoy it, who will?)
2. Long-distance relationships suck really really really bad.
3. Don't spend money uselessly
4. Being in love is the best feeling in the world
5. Having your heart broken is the absolute worst feeling in the world
6. Life goes on
7. Be true to yourself, always
8. Trust in God and his plan for everything. (Remember, God's way is not our way)
9. You never know what's wrong without the pain
10. Be wary of cutting your own hair(don't attempt layers)

11. Take risks
12. I am convinced music is magic
13. Eat lots of potassium to help cramps
14. Dream every now and then...
15. Laxatives really do what they say they will on the box, and more (bring a book)
16. You're never too old to run in the rain. or sleep with a teddy bear
17. There are no doors to the past, only windows
18. Laugh at yourself (even if no one else is, and especially if they are)
19. Sing like no one's listening (literally)
20. Support those you love, even if you think they are crazy

21. Learn from the past, then move on
22. Don't let your imagination get the best of you
23. Make wishes on shooting stars (it couldn't hurt)
24. Learn to say no but don't forget how to say yes
25. if you hit snooze enough times, you could pretty much sleep all day
26. with freedom comes responsibility
27. remember this is YOUR life. Don't let anyone change you
28. Help others when you can
29. Take every opportunity to work extra, money is better than sleeping for 13 hours
30. Don't break ties with good friends (especially if they move abroad, it brings culture to your life ;))

31. Don't drink caffeine right before attempting to go to bed
32. Everyone is only human
33. Don't put your hands, or any body part for that matter, in bleach
34. Crying always helps, but so does laughing
35. There's always someone worse off than you
36. Be wary of what you do when you are extremely overtired
37. Nail polish removes nail polish (don't ask)
38. Personal expression is really important. Do it.
39. Refrain from punching people in the face, no matter how bad you want to
40. Don't let anyone's opinions or doubts make you doubt yourself

41. Take too many pictures
42. tell your parents you love them
43. Defend yourself, especially against your parents
44. It sucks being a dairy-loving lactose (eat it anyway)
45. Try to stay grateful to your parents
46. Music can pretty much be incorporated into anything, so do it
47. Don't turn your back on a one-year-old for more than two minutes
48. Don't be afraid to cry in church
49. Make new friends (especially if they are cute males)
50. Sometimes you just have to be blunt.

51. Guys are mostly all pigs. If they're not, they're probably gay
52. Always give people the benefit of the doubt
53. Lay off the fried food, it makes you feel like crap
54. Swallow your pride every now and then
55. Make the phone call, write the letter, keep the plans
56. If you think you'll forget, you probably will (write it down)
57. If you make the same mistake more than once, you're stupid
58. I'm stupid. (see above)
59. There's always going to be haters, not matter what you do or how you act. It's life.
60. it doesn't hurt to be prepared

61. Karma is a female dog
62. Never leave your journal unattended in a high-traffic area
63. Life and what activities you do day to day don't matter. The important thing is that you are walking in faith.
64. Toothpaste hurts when it gets in your eye. And for the record, so does perfume.
65. Avoid consuming garlic if you plan on going within ten feet of anyone in the next 24 hours.
66. If you're desperate enough, you could pretty much find a justification for doing anything
67. Elementary school teachers lie. Don't trust anything they say you will be doing in middle school. Same goes for middle school teachers...and high school... Just to be safe, don't trust any of your teachers
68. Don't believe everything you hear about others
69. Set goals
70. You have to have that one good thing in your life that gets you out of bed every morning. Even if that thing is the tea you drank the night before making you have to pee

71. Always support you family, no matter what.
72. Compliment others (especially if you actually mean it)
73. Tell someone if they have something in their teeth
74. Weigh the pros and cons
75. Never stop writing mid-sentence. You'll totally lose your train of thought
76. Have a little faith in yourself
77. Be a friend (the good kind)
78. Think before you speak
79. Be nice to people you don't really care for. (But not too nice or they'll add you on Facebook) (absolute favorite lesson)
80. Sometimes you just have to look like a fool

81. Have fun at work.
82. Do unto others...
83. If you want to hear God laugh, tell him your plans
84. Clean underneath your bed every once in awhile. You might find stuff you didn't even know you were missing.
85. Keep secrets (yours and others).
86. Don't assume anything, Ever.
87. Smile at strangers (but not the creepy men)
88. Karma works both ways
89. Make someone laugh if you can
90. Listen to your heart

91. The world does not revolve around you
92. coffee+juice= DISGUSTING
93. Let others live their life how they want, even if you think they are NUTS
94. Almost everything is fixable
95.Humor can keep pretty much any relationship alive
96. Things always change
97. Pray.
98. Try to be a better person (humility=the key)
99. Sometimes you just need to wing it and make things up as you go.
100. You never stop learning :)

Again.

2011-12-29T13:23:00.004-05:00

I'm sorry, I get sick of things after awhile and have to change it up.
So instead of cleaning the apartment and running errands, I made another new blog header. This one might actually stick for awhile.
I just don't like seeing my same stupid face every time I come on my blog.

So I only used headless pictures.

(All from my talented sister)

Day 23: Bad Habits

2011-12-29T11:37:00.003-05:00

This was supposed to be "favorite movie" but that is so lame.
So I changed it.
I never really got hooked on smoking, I made myself quit because I was afraid I was going to get addicted. I kind of quit coffee, because it makes me crazy. I love it so much but I just can't handle it. I do drink the occasional decaf though. My absolute worst habit is swearing.
Working at a fast food restaurant for over three years gave me mouth like a sailor.
It's a hard habit to get out of.
It's actually funny, I swear everywhere but at church.
When I slip on the ice at church I always yell HOLY...........and something like MAKKARA! or some other Finnish food word pops out of my mouth. Always.
Unfortunately, the same does not happen when you are talking to your mom on the phone and you almost get smucked by another car.
So, that is my #1 new years resolution: STOP SWEARING.
Along with:
2. Drink more tea
3. Meditate
4. Take more pictures/videos
5. Volunteer somewhere
6. Work on my bucket list

I usually always have resolutions about exercising or playing guitar, and I never keep them so I'm not even going to bother making resolutions to do something I don't want to.
Makes sense to me.

Day 22: What's in your purse?

2011-12-29T10:57:00.009-05:00

Oh gosh, I was dreading this one.
I am notorious for carrying around a suitcase of purse because I have to be prepared for any possible situation or I feel naked.
BUT I have been trying to carry less, so this is a lot more compact than I was a few months ago.
This is my current purse, from Goodwill in WI.
I always buy cheap purses because, firstly, why spend more when you can find them thrifted for so cheap? And mainly, I destroy purses. If you give me a indestructible purse, I will massacre the thing in less than a month. I put way too much stress on them, filling them up until they start bursting at the seams or the straps start falling off.

This is all the crap I dumped out. I don't really have stuff floating around free in there, I cannot stand not being able to find things, so I keep them organized in smaller pouches, which is probably why it's so crammed in there.
I actually did not even know I had a phone charger in there, and I thought I had lost my gray stretch gloves, hah.
This is my wallet. Which basically is just taking up tons of space because the only thing I keep in there is stamps. Seriously.
This is what I used for my purse for a few months last summer before I went nuts having something so small. I keep the more important things in it, my money, cards, emergency lip balm, a spare car key. When my shoulder hurts too bad from my big purse, I just take this out.
I got it for a quarter at a garage sale, and as you can see, I basically ruined it.

This one has my tweezers, fingernail clippers, lactaid, magnesium, another tube of lip balm and two things of dental floss.
Gum, hand sanitizer, pain relievers, Alka-Seltzer Plus, Biofreeze, peppermint tea and candy.
Never know when you're going to need any of those.

Oh, and my other pouch is what i use to put my GPS and other electronics in except I usually just keep them in my car.
Notice there's no water bottle, bottle of mouthwash or book, like I used to always carry. Those were the heaviest/biggest so they had to go. I keep them in my car now.
I'm starting to realize how much of this stuff is unnecessary. Yikes.

The (Mostly) True Memoir of A Girl Who Fell From Grace

2011-12-28T13:22:00.003-05:00

Last March, everything in me started building up so much, I had to do something.
And by "everything," I mean the turmoilous events that brought me to where I am today. "My road to self-discovery."
I decided to start writing it into a memoir.
I left it at home when I moved and have been thinking about it a lot since so I made sure to grab it before I came back up.
I have only a little over ten pages down, barely the beginning of it all. It's very unedited but having not read it in so long was like reading it with fresh eyes.
And it struck my heart, the truth in all of it.
I exaggerate.
I make up little details.
But the events, the people and the feelings are all real.
Mostly.
I'm actually slightly worried that people will be very offended.
But we were all young and dumb and did things we would take back.
And the names aren't real.
Plus I'm adding in fake details and little events so no one will even know what really happened and what didn't, right?

Day 21: Favorite Picture of yourself ALL TIME Why?

2011-12-21T17:34:00.003-05:00

Why? I mean, look at it. It's sweet. It just brings back memories of how awesome my childhood was.
And I loved school up until my junior year. And this was my first day of that.

Day 20: Nicknames

2011-12-20T18:29:00.004-05:00

When we were wee little ones, Gretchen was too dumb to be able to say "Kaitlin" so she called me "Keeks."
And that is what my family calls me.

My friends call me Chubs. That started in about seventh grade. Constantly the butt of the boys fat jokes, I was.
I've had a million other nick-names, mostly things relating to be be fat or short.

This just reminds me of good old Marcel <3

Day 19: Something You Miss

2011-12-19T16:55:00.006-05:00

Yup. I still do.
Every single day.
And sometimes I cry.
It's been almost eleven months.
And I thought I was crazy when I was crying after a few days.
Just a few days ago I woke up so sad because I had a dream about her.
She still looked like this:

Ahah, I'm so pathetic. But I loved her so much!

Day 18: Favorite Place to Eat

2011-12-19T16:38:00.003-05:00

Mom's kitchen. Duh.

This was supposed to be done yesterday. I wish I could say that I didn't post because I was so busy doing fun activities, but like most birthdays for as long as I can remember, I just took a nap for the majority of the day.
I did get a birthday present though.
From our waiter at Perkins.

Day 17: Something you're looking forward to

2011-12-17T21:55:00.001-05:00

Spending quality time with the family for Christmas.

Day 16: Dream house

2011-12-17T21:35:00.002-05:00

I guess at this point in my life, I don't really care about some home that I may or may not have in the future.
I do actually have a board on Pinterest that's kinda like my "Dream Home" so maybe I do care.
It's all just things, walls, doors, tables and pillows of varying shades of aqua.
And then lots of pictures of crazy floor-to ceiling book shelves like these:

Which I just want so bad but I doubt I will ever actually. How awesome would it be to have so many books that you have to use a ladder to access them?
I bought ten books in the last week actually, so at this rate I may have a library yet.

Day 15: Bible verse

2011-12-17T21:14:00.007-05:00

"And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not thy whole body should be cast into hell." Matthew 5:29

I don't love to talk about my faith on here, but I think occasionally is okay, since it is such a big part of me.
I love this verse, this sermon, the whole book of Matthew. It's usually what I read when I'm scared or upset or angry.
This verse is a big deal to me.
I've copied it in my journals and in my Bible I boxed and circled it, and folded down the page, years ago.
Because it's such an important reminder that we are in the the world, but not of the world.
Whenever there is any kind of temptation in my life, I turn to this verse.

Day 14: A picture of you last year - how have you changed?

2011-12-17T21:00:00.002-05:00

This was exactly one year ago:

I was just a girl, living downstate with Mom and Dad, working at Arby's, car-less and restless.
According to my journal:
I had just discovered how sweet hippies were and decided that I wanted to become one.
I went out to watch the meteor shower at 2am on the 14th.
My manager was mad at me because I took a week off to go see my wombie for our birthday, which is exactly a week before Christmas (tomorrow!).
I was writing songs about a guy I had a crush on.
I haven't changed a bit.

Day 13: Goals.

2011-12-15T14:28:00.000-05:00

To finish this blog challenge.
Not be late for work.

Day 12: Something you don't leave the house without

2011-12-15T14:25:00.002-05:00

Confessions/ Day 10 Part II

2011-12-13T00:39:00.003-05:00

You know how I love to stay up all night until the sun rises?
This is partially a lie.
I do love to stay up late.
But not exactly all night.
But some nights I'm really just kind of scared.
I got a night light so it's a little better.
But when I read books like this,
that are really good but disturbingly creepy, I cannot fall asleep.
So I wait until my neighbors get up for work.
Or until the sun comes up.
If I do sleep at all before the sun comes up, it's only on my back.
I couldn't even tell you exactly what it is I'm scared is going to get me, but I'm afraid of the dark.
So it kind of distorts my sleep schedule.

Confessions/ Day 10

2011-12-12T01:10:00.005-05:00

I was actually going to blog about this anyways, and it just so happens that it fits in with day 10 of the challenge.
And also a little FYI, which is pretty obvi, I'm doing this a few days late so I will probably cheat and change the post date so it looked like I posted it on time. And also, I'm tired again cuz it's 1AM on Sunday night and my gosh did I have a fun weekend! So I'm super burned out, which makes me use annoying abbrevs that aren't even words. Like obvi, and whatevs. Actually I say whatevs even when I'm not tired.
And there will be a million type-o's. Too tired to xare.
And for reals, this weekend was so saweet! I stayed home on Friday night cuz I got off work at eleven and was lazy when I got home. But Saturday, I went to kyds actually and it was fun, even though we might have gotten a little rowdy with Christmas singing so we left. And we bought a tarp and Walmart. Oh gosh, I just realized, I vowed to never shop there again... But I didn't buy it so it doesn't count?
And we took it to Mt Ripley. We actually met a ton of people there. And we took the tarp for a spin. Or three or seven.
There was at least fifteen people on the thing, and the hill is steep. That's probably why it's called a mountain. A tarp goes very fast down a steep incline.
Ah man it was so painfully fun. We are all pretty banged up and sore today but it was such a rush and we didn't have to make any hospital visits. Though a lot of the sleds were destroyed in crashes. I wasn't brave enough to try one of them.

Okay, that was totally irrelevant to this post. Oh yeah, and I went to my grandparents for lunch today. :)
Ah man, now I'm way too tired to even make a confession. Rain check for tomorrow.

Day 9: Best Froto

2011-12-09T23:59:00.001-05:00

Favorite picture of my best friend?
First and foremost, I hope you aren't totally shocked by this. But yes, I consider you my best friend. Sorry that you had to find out this way. With me just dropping it like this.
Secondly, we have had our fair share of amazing photos over the years, you cannot deny how photogenic we are:

But there is one that takes the cake. For reals. I'm sorry to bring it up again and post it for the fourth time on the world-wide web, but I cannot help it. It is just way too awesome to keep to myself.
I can state now, that I was going to put up a picture of your gorgeousness on your wedding day with your hubby, particularly the one that Sharyn took that is my background on my laptop that looks like this:
And then I was going to talk about how happy and beautiful you looked and how there's not one person I know in the world who deserves that more than you. How I'm always thanking God for sending such an adorably awesome guy into your life who somehow accepted you, even though you're friends with some whack job like me.
And how much I absolutely love the both of you and every picture I see makes me smile, just knowing that you are happy, even though you are living way too freakin far away from me.
But of course I couldn't settle for just that.
You are my best friend, after all.
And so, I will be sharing my favorite picture of you.
Of us.
It was before we were really even friends.
And long before I ever even imagined that one day I would be a bridesmaid for the freak sitting next to me.
Again, I apologize. But this picture makes me laugh.every.single.time.
By now, I'm sure you are quite aware of what picture it is.
But everyone else might not.
So I'm going to hold it out for a little while long.
Okay.

Scroll down.

......

more.

Drum roll...

Splat.

Oh gosh, I kind just want to psych everyone out now and just put a picture of a lobster or something.

..............

Okay, now there was just way too much anticipation so that it won't even be humorous anymore.

All well, I still think it's funny:

Miss you darling! MUAH!

Day 8: Oh, The Places I Have Been...

2011-12-09T23:20:00.006-05:00

Except haven't. I really have not traveled as much I thought I would have by this point in my life, it's extremely disappointing.
At least I can say I've never traveled to a place that I didn't absolutely love.
The trip to Florida with my family when I was I don't even know how old... 15? 16? was super cool. It was the first time I'd ever been south and saw the ocean, which actually is kind of over-rated if you ask me but then again I'm from Michigan so I'm used to vast bodies of water that you can't see across. But it was a trip that I never thought I would get to make with my family, I honestly never even dreamed about it because I thought it was so unreasonable. I loved the miserably humid weather and the palm trees and Disney. Which, I swear on my life, I will go back to some day.
Before that, all the summers we spent in Canada... Even though that's not very far from home, it felt like we were in a different planet where there was no connection to outside world through internet or our phones. We were forced to entertain each other, and I loved that. I will always cherish the memories I made on these family vacays.
My most recent trip was my senior year, when Gretchen, Molly and myself went to go visit two of my favorite people in the world:
I just love them. We went in March so it wasn't super warm yet but we still swam. Or waded. I was too freaked out to swim out. My phobia of water was obviously already instilled in me.
It was fun because we had a little more freedom, going without the 'rents to keep us in line or give us an agenda. And we got to spend quality time with our lovely Grandparents, which is something I will never, ever forget. I feel like this trip brought me closer to them, amazing people they really are.
This is totally unrelated but all this is making me so nostalgic... Last night I was just crying because I was thinking about how wonderful my childhood was. All the innocence and freedom I had. Coming home bare-foot from the neighbors as as it was getting dark, but still so warm, chasing fire-flies all the way. I just loved that. And it makes me sad that I will never experience that innocence again. Ah, I still hate growing up.
Oh dear. Can you imagine what my actually mid-life crisis will be like??

Day 7: Favorite Movies

2011-12-07T23:06:00.006-05:00

Boring. But I'm tired again so I don't feel like thinking of anything sweeter.
This is my all-time favorite movie, I've talked about too many times, but it's hilarious every time.

Probably the funniest movie EVER. I absolutely love it, I adore Kristen Wiig, she is fearless and hysterical. I'm such a guy, I know, but I've realized that I LOVE action movies. I hate any movies with too much feeling or cheesiness or anything but witty jokes and things blowing up. This movie actually kind of made me cry. But it was trippy and intense: my FAVORITE.

Day 6: Happiness

2011-12-06T23:19:00.002-05:00

Even if I'm having the crappiest day imaginable, and I all I want to do is punch someone and then go to bed, seeing this immediately lifts my spirits:

My breath is literally taken away, and it's something that I've been made fun of for many, many times. One time, I swear to you, I almost swallowed a lung, I gasped so loud, my co-workers thought that someone was dying.
I cannot express how much I love full moons, they make my entire month.
This month's is this Saturday. :)

Day 5: Song For My Mood

2011-12-05T21:19:00.002-05:00

I just got off a twelve-hour shift at work. Enough said.

Day 4: Mommy and Daddy

2011-12-04T15:23:00.006-05:00

These are my wonderful parents. Or as they are in my phone: Mommy and Freddy
I moved away from these guys six months ago.
At first I was thinking oh, I'll be fine without them. The first couple months were, I was happy and didn't even really miss them. But now I'm starting to realize that I wasn't meant to have a long distance relationship with them, especially not my mom.
I miss talking to her every day and eating her amazing cooking.
And I miss listening to Freddy play guitar and telling what's new in the world of technology.
I really am their daughter, I get so many of my traits from them, my love for music, books, cooking, my stubbornness, honesty, impatience and pride. Mostly, I feel so blessed that they have raised me up in this faith and are always there for me when I need them.
Though, I think they really resent the whole hippie thing. Freddy calls me a flower child, but I just take it as a compliment.
I superally love them and miss them and can't wait to move back home some day. hah!

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang

2011-12-03T21:30:00.005-05:00

Literally, as soon as I finished that post about cutting my bangs, I shut my laptop off and started hacking at them. I cut off five inches.

(my hand looks freakishly obese)

No more slicked back ponytails for me.
I'm not complaining.
I feel like they really draw attention to how unnaturally dark my eyebrows are, though. I've never really complained about them because my eyelashes are also dark BUT. I swear to you, my hair is not dyed.
I will probably just let them grow out now, enjoy them as they grow up. and try to resist cutting the rest off...

PS-notice I finally put the sheet to use? I need to sew it into an actually curtain some day when I have ambition to actually use my sewing machine for the first time.

Day 3: My First Love

2011-12-03T13:04:00.003-05:00

I've done this post before.
My first love was obviously books. Ever since I learned how to read, it was always my favorite thing to do in school, or anywhere. I just devoured books. I remember one middle school summer vacation, I read at least a book a day. I think that was when I was into horror stories.
But fairy tales have always been my favorite.
I always was the most anti-Harry Potter person you would ever meet until one day I decided to read them. I read them three times that year.
I once said that I would give up music for books. I don't know if I would go to that extreme. But I do love my books, they came into my life before music did.
And speaking of, this is my book wish list. In case anyone was wondering what to get me for my birthday in two weeks...

I love this book. I've read it three times and I've been wanting to read it again:

My favorite Dr. Seuss:

My favorite fairy tale. It's extremely long but I've read it twice, I love, love it.

Sadly, I still do not own the last Harry Potter book.

I love the human body, and this book is amazingly awesome. And expensive.

Day 2: Behind The Blog

2011-12-02T13:26:00.002-05:00

I can't believe it's been so long since I changed my blog title. Seems like just yesterday.
The "One Day At A Time" is something that I have considered changing again many, many times. Still do. But basically I named my blog that because it was when I had finally stopped looking forward to what is going to happen next in life, and it's a constant reminder to take and enjoy it one day at time.
As for my URL; I am an extremely inconsistent person when it comes to my interests and what I do. But I have always remained myself: a nerd, a dreamer, and a believer: consistently Kaitlin.

To Be Or Not To Bang

2011-12-01T23:16:00.006-05:00

This time of year always gets me itching to cut my hair. And since it's still not donation length and fitting all my other terms, I target my bangs.
I keep thinking I want to cut them again.

All the pictures of me with bangs are awful because I had them during the summer so they are just all which way.
And I was thinking man, do I look young with bangs! Maybe I shouldn't cut them! But I was young. I was only like sixteen.
I really think I'm going to do it this time. One of these days I will just hack at them.
I'm more of a seventies girl so I like the long straight hair but I've been watching a lot of fifties movies. After watching Grease, I've just been itching to have hair like Sandy. Before she goes bad.
They do get to be a pain the butt but they will grow back.
And I love how they look when you wear your hair in a ponytail:

We'll see.

Day 1: Intro, Picture, Facts

2011-12-01T12:46:00.011-05:00

Hello! I am Kaitlin. And if you are reading this, chances are, you probably know me already.
I'm just your average abnormal teen [for only a few more weeks!] living in a tiny 2-bedroom apartment in a little (finally) snowy town in the UP, ~~trying~~ making it on my own. For real, mom! I'm doing just fine!

My mom actually doesn't even read this I'm pretty sure.
I doubt I will get fifteen facts. Because it's hard to think of things no one knows about me, because I tell everyone everything whether they care or not;

1. I do crazy stuff in my sleep. Sleep-walk, turn on lights, open windows, talk, text, answer my phone, call people, ect...
2. I am a superally passionate advocate against bullying, especially online bullying, mainly because it's something I went through myself
3. And also acceptance of mental illnesses and disabilities of all kinds. Which is why I positively love my job, it has always been my dream to work with people who have mental disabilities.
4. I have a running list of possible baby names on my phone. There is currently 28 names.
5. I've never really loved bakery, like cookies, cake, brownies or even donuts.
6. My mouth literally salivates when I walk into a library or book store.
7. I've always wished I knew how to paint. I'm not artistic at all.
8. It is my delusive dream to play a piece of dirt or dust in a Swiffer commercial. Dead serious.
9. I love animals. I wish every day that I could have a dog. Or anything.
10. I've only been to the humane society once. And I cried.
11. << Favorite number
12. I am a super huge astronomy nerd. And I wish I was more. I would love to know tons of constellations. Obsessed with the moon. My friends make fun of me because I usually know when the full moon and lunar eclipses are- even six months ahead of time.
13. I've caused two accidents, have gotten zero tickets. I love cops.
14. Shoes are the only article of clothing that I will ever buy full price- and only retail. I hate retail.
15. The first full song I ever wrote was about finding out that my best guy friend liked me. I was 13 at the time and rejecting him was the most heartbreaking thing that had ever happened to me. To still be that naive...

Blog Challenge

2011-11-30T22:46:00.001-05:00

I decided to do this, it will force me to blog every day.

Day 1: Introduce, recent picture of yourself, 15 interesting facts
Day 2: Meaning behind your blog name
Day 3: Your first love
Day 4: Your parents
Day 5: A song to match your mood
Day 6: A picture of something that makes you happy
Day 7: Favorite movies
Day 8: A place you've traveled to
Day 9: A favorite picture of your best friend
Day 10: Something you're afraid of
Day 11: Favorite tv shows
Day 12: Something you don't leave the house without
Day 13: Goals
Day 14: A picture of you last year - how have you changed?
Day 15: Bible verse
Day 16: Dream house
Day 17: Something you're looking forward to
Day 18: Favorite Place to Eat
Day 19: Something you miss
Day 20: Nicknames
Day 21: Favorite Picture of yourself ALL TIME Why?
Day 22: What's in your purse?
Day 23: Favorite Movie
Day 24: Something you've learned
Day 25: Put your iPod on shuffle, first 10 songs
Day 26: Your Dream Wedding
Day 27: Original Photo of the city you live in
Day 28: Something that stresses you out
Day 29: 3 Wishes
Day 30: a picture of yourself this day and 5 good things that happened since you started the challenge

I'll start...tomorrow.

I'm Sorry That It's Come Down To This

2011-11-27T13:41:00.004-05:00

Due to the tremendous amounts of spam comments I've been getting, almost one a day, I will now have to put up the, blech, word verification. Sorry to anyone, who like me, hates word verifications with an absolute burning passion. But I'm actually starting to hate spam comments more.
Speaking of burning passions, I put another song up. It's pretty cheesey, I basically wrote it all in one night but I'm still working some parts out. But I don't really care.
I'm just obsessed with music, to an unhealthy level. I keep just writing and writing, hoping that I will actually get good at it some day and write super sweet songs. But who cares if I never do because it's such a release for me and just so much fun. :)

Awkward.

2011-11-24T23:37:00.002-05:00

I have a lot of inside jokes with the people I worked at Arby's with for almost four years. One of them has to do with me being Princess Lea. And one calling one of the guys "baby."
One day I needed a shift covered so I texted that particular guy, asking if he would could please cover for me.
I got a text back about three hours later: "Who is this?"
I'm thinking he was just being stupid so I reply, "It's Princess Lea, baby."
A few hours later: "I don't know who you are..."
Me: "Come on, ******, you're a moron, this is Kaitlin!"
Five minutes: This isn't ******, I don't know who you are."
Oh. Awkward.

Checking Off

2011-11-16T02:04:00.003-05:00

When I'm down, obviously, I try to come up with ways to make myself feel better. Which obviously, most of the time doesn't even work because depression isn't just some little minor thing where you can smile about something and suddenly be happy.
But sometimes I remind myself of my blessings in life, which helps me keep pushing onward.
I have been thinking about my bucket list and what I got crossed off this summer. I actually didn't start writing it til towards the end of the summer but I still got a few numbers done. Such as:
7. Sing a song about a person to them (he still doesn't know it's about him)
35. Ride on a motorcycle. (yikes, forgot about that. 120mph is scary!)
33. Watch every episode of Friends.
38. Sleep under the stars
39. Sleep on the beach (was seriously amazing, LOVED it. even though I had to go to work after...)
54. Watch a scary movie (Never again.)
57. Be a vegetarian for a week (was actually basically a vegan. I didn't eat meat, dairy or eggs)
53. Move away from home.
59. Stand in someones wedding
72. Drive a moped

And I was going to kiss a cow but I got electrocuted. I ate a frog and crawfish that I caught myself. I played guitar at a lot of fires. I made a ton of new friends. I discovered that I love to cook (and I'm good at it).
It's always fun to learn new things about yourself, which I guess is part of the point of bucket lists. So maybe I should get going on some of the other items.

Honestly

2011-11-15T01:41:00.006-05:00

WARNING: I feel the need to put a disclaimer on this post. It is extremely personal. If you are offended by openness about mental illnesses, I highly recommend you read it. Maybe it will help lessen the unfortunate stigma that is associated with them.

Honestly, The main reason I have not been blogging is because I have very depressed.
As you know, this is something that I have suffered with, off and on, ever since I was 16.
And I feel like this is all I talk about on here anymore, but it is something that I am very passionate about not keeping quiet about. If that makes sense.
What people need to know is how to treat people with depression and/or other mental diseases. There's only one way you should act towards them: normal.
I think the biggest reason people don't open up about their illness (besides when they are in denial) is the fact they are afraid of what people will think or how they will treat them. And I will admit, it is annoying. I'm not going to pretend that being open about it is all rainbows and butterflies, because it's not. Most people treat me different after I tell them that I am depressed.
I have depression, I am not dying. Please don't tip-toe around me and ask me how I'm doing every five minutes with those looks of pity. Trust me, you aren't helping anything.
I like to be open about it, just so people know, if they are talking to me about the weather and I suddenly start crying, I'm not crazy, and it was nothing they did, I am just extremely emotional.
And also, so those around me know to look for signs that my condition is getting worse. Without the fore-warning, they might not think much of me just hanging out in my room every night for two weeks straight. And also, the sooner you open up about it, the easier it is to talk about it. To tell those close to me that it's getting worse, where they can then urge me to get help.
I have never been to the doctors for it. I hate the doctors so I always said that I will never go unless I feel like I am losing control.

I made a doctors appointment.

I have been very much in denial about the extent of this depression. I guess I was too busy to see the signs. It wasn't until one night, a few weeks ago, when I was on my knees in my living room at two thirty in the morning, after two and a half hours of crying, shaking from pain and fear, that I finally realized, and admitted to myself, and my family (I immediately emailed my mom and some of my sisters), that I was depressed. And more than I could possible manage by myself anymore.
Let me tell you, there is nothing more frustrating than getting paid to do something you are passionate about, having enough money in the bank, plus friends and family that love you, but still lying in bed at night, not sleeping, and struggling to get out of bed in the morning, because all you can think is how you hate your life.
I have never been depressed for no apparent reason, this is all so new to me. It's too controlling, and I don't like that at all.
So I made a few life-style changes. I am trying to eat better, or eat, period, which I wasn't doing before. And making sure I am taking my vitamins: multi-vitamins, vitamin d, and fish oil. Plus getting enough sleep every night.
I have been very happy in the past week, happier than I have been for a long, long time.
This past weekend with my friends, I laughed until my stomach hurt, something I haven't done since I don't remember. And every time, I felt a little more like myself. I still have my downfalls, but I'm getting better. I'm starting to be social again. And not because I'm forced to, but because I want to. I feel like I'm starting to regain control of my happiness again.
And it feels good.

The Rules Of The Road

2011-11-04T23:42:00.004-04:00

One thing I've learned since I moved is how to suck at driving. I honestly am considering making a bumper sticker that says "I'm from the UP, I can't drive. Sorry!"
Because when I come here, and there is more than one road that leads anywhere, it just gets way too confusing. I get too scared to speed.
When you live down here, you have to be an extremely aggressive driver. Otherwise you will never get anywhere and the person behind you will pummel you.
Remember when I used to have CRAZY road-rage? Yeah, I don't anymore. In the UP, you basically have to be a cautious driver if you want to live. In the UP, you have to brake multiple times a day for morons who cut you off. And you don't even honk your horn at them, because it's so routine.
I still haven't figured out how they decide who goes first at four-way. Because it sure isn't the first one there. Usually it's the biggest truck. Sometimes, people don't even stop. You have to proceed with extreme caution, and you don't even honk your horn if you almost get smucked. Cuz it's your own fault for not knowing the rules of the road.
And I still haven't figured out how people decide which speed limit to go. Because it sure isn't what's posted on those signs on the side of the road. Some go ten over, some go fifteen under. And cops don't really seem to care either way.
As much as they stress me out, I miss these three and four-lane expressways. And legally driving 75 miles an hour. I guess I like the fast-pace and the road rage.
It's not a shock that I don't plan on staying in the UP forever. I have always planned to only live there for a few years. And honestly, if I didn't love my job so much and love living next to my friends, I would move back down in a heart-beat.
I love the UP. But it's just not the same and I don't think it ever will be my permanent home. It does feel like home to me right now, just because I'm having so much fun, but five years from now, I don't think so.
Nothing will ever compare to this town that I grew up in. Which, I always thought was small until I got out of it and realized how not small it is.
I drove down here for the weekend and I have a little bit of a fear that I might decide to never leave.
I will confess, literally the second I passed that city limit sign, I felt like my lungs stopped working and began gasping and sobbing uncontrollably. I cried all through downtown. And, if you saw some girl at about 11:00 tonight, bawling her eyes out while she was pumping gas, that was me.
I just wiped my eyes and pretended I hadn't been crying when I got home.
Because I'm afraid my mom might actually talk me into moving back.
And it's familiar and comfortable here. Nothing's changed in the last four months except there's new salt and pepper shakers.
But I'm sure by the time the weekend is over, I will be itching to get back to my friends.
I hope.

Blogger Sucks

2011-10-27T02:27:00.005-04:00

I wanted to share one of the songs I've been working on.
Well back up... Firstly, my laptop camera/microphone SUCKS. So badly. So I had to record from my camera, which is just a pain in the arse.
So then I had the video and put it loading on here while I was doing other stuff.
Four hours later, it still wasn't uploaded.
WOW. I should NOT be admitting that I have been sitting on my laptop for the past four hours.
So anyways I decided to try Youtube. And it uploaded in like five minutes. So whatever, I've had videos on there before and no one sees them because you can't find them in searches and stuff so that's the easiest route to go about this.
And plus no one reads my blog anymore due my lack or, more like, complete nonexistence of posting so I'm not too concerned about high traffic-ness. I like to have these for personal record cuz then someday when I actually learn how to play guitar I will look back on these and laugh.
And you can laugh too, but don't tell me about it. Cuz I'm sensitive and plus I'm all for not bullying and stuff.
Oh, and you probably need the link.
So here it is, my most recent song, Fall In Place. Because I just had to get a title to upload the video and I didn't know what call it.
And no, I will not tell you who it's about. :)

It's The Most Wonderful...

2011-10-26T03:08:00.003-04:00

Tonight we had a party at our neighbor (and close friend)'s house.
The theme was "white trash"
Which was thought up by me of course, because I'm so wonderful at thinking up things to dress up as. hah.
I love Halloween. Obviously.
But I haven't gotten into it yet much this year. So this was SO fun.
My battery is going to die on my laptop so these are the only pictures for now. The rest are on Facebook.

Confessions

2011-10-20T02:16:00.003-04:00

I recently added my mom on Facebook.
Which I will admit, I was a little leery about for awhile before I realized she already basically knows how much of a freak I am and has to love me no matter what because I am her off-spring.
So I was just looking through my Facebook, making sure there is nothing embarrassing or inappropriate on there from my wilder days. And I came across this picture:
It made me smile. I took this the night I bought my guitar. Three years ago. My cheeks are flushed because I am just elated and in disbelief that I actually own this instrument that I have literally craved to have even though I had never held one in my hands before.
I have journal entries about needing a guitar, wanting to be able to make music. It is something I always wanted.

Finally, October of 2008, I drained my bank account and spent my entire savings on an instrument I've never even touched, let alone had a clue how to play, much to my mother's dismay.
I started teaching myself to play. And I honestly, to this day, credit my guitar for this: that was the first winter I remember where I wasn't plagued with depression.
I am not as good as I thought I would be by now, I don't put enough effort into learning new things. But I know enough.
Enough to sing to. Enough to escape with when life starts to suck.
Enough to write songs. Which is the biggest release and funnest thing I ever have done.
I just love it, I write songs about everyone. And then I sing them to them and they don't even know that it's about them. So fun.
And I would share my current project but it's 3 am and Gretchen is sleeping.
The whole guitar experience was just such a life lesson for me.
Sometimes you have to take risks if you feel it in you, even if other people are telling you not to.
The little things could change your life.

And So Begins

2011-10-14T17:37:00.002-04:00

The days of sitting on the couch endlessly surfing the internet. Or mostly just Facebook, Pinterest and Stumbleupon, And I imagine Hulu will slowly make it's way back into my life.

We just got internet today
I just got my laptop Tuesday
I eat a lot of meals that are like heated up corn and beans with noodles. Or like I just had, chicken and refried beans on tortilla chips, for what I guess you could call dinner. I don't really like to put labels on my meals.
Which, I eat more at work than I do at home
I have started taking vitamins. Whole green vegetable vitamins that my chiro recommended
My arms are beginning to look manly. Don't ask about my stomach. It's still just hangin there.
I haven't even started making my gift for the sisters trip next week.
I don't even know what I am going to make
Church is in an hour, right down the road but it's so crappy and cold, I might just stay on the couch
I am once again, or even worse than ever, addicted to coffee. I need a coffee maker.
I'm thinking that it may be time to turn the heat on in this place.
I'll do a real blog post some day.
Oh wait, I have internet now, so I should every day

Call Me Nineteen and Naive

2011-09-25T16:25:00.002-04:00

Wow, I don't have internet but I just recently found out that if I go to my neighbors I can steal internet from THEIR neighbors. Are you supposed to admit things like that? So maybe I will actually update every once in awhile. I have been basically working a lot and not much else I feel like. I messed my back up at work and have to get it fixed so I'm going to the chiropractor. I was vegan for a week so I can check that off my bucket list. It got kind of old after awhile. And I will be blatant here but I had to take Imodium every day. hah, it wasn't that sweet.
I've been writing a lot of songs. Which is a good thing because I love to write and it means that something in my life is worth writing about, whether it's good or bad.
And then I'm like super lame so I put the lyrics for my status' on Facebook and stuff.
But basically I'm the same kid I was when I moved, probably happier.
I'm trying to stay the same good kid I was and so far it's panning out pretty good. :)
And today was my last Sunday working so I will no longer be missing church so it can only get better.
I'll just stay nineteen and naive forever, thank you very much :)
(to the dear friend of mine who says I'm naive and some day I'll crash and burn. I love you, but no, I don't plan on it :) and thanks for inspiring a song.)

Life

2011-08-25T16:10:00.002-04:00

is looking up a lot. This weekend was so fun going down for Paige's wedding.
Being a bridesmaid is not as life-altering as I had anticipated. It was just a lot, lot more fun that I had ever imagined. I honestly had no free time to anything un-wedding related but it was awesome! One of the funnest weekends I've had in a long time. I didn't trip or pass out but I did cry. But what do you expect, this is me.
It's feeling like fall up here and I love it! I know I will regret this in three months but, I am so ready for summer to be over. I'm not tan anymore, I'm sick of shaving my legs every day, and I'm tired of sweating at work. I love fall, it's my favorite time of year.
And I so want to go back to school.
This time of year just gives me that excited, back-to-school feeling so it sucks knowing that I'm not. I'm way too poor and I don't want to change my work schedule. But I still keep thinking about it. AH. I love school, I did up until I started having all my health problems and never went my senior year. I love learning, I love the work.
I would love to just take a class or two, just for fun.
I'll see I guess.

Adventures Of the Day

2011-08-17T14:44:00.003-04:00

So. I stayed at a certain sister's house last night. And I was just on the computer and decided I should probably get on with my day because it's 1:00 in the afternoon and I'm starving. All my clothes are in my car so I walk out the door and think wow, it's hot and humid and reflexively slam the door behind me. Except when I get to my car, I realize my car doors are locked.
And as soon as I turn around I realize shit, the house door is locked too.
Okay, just for the record, if I ever have a home, I will only have dead-bolts. They are a pain in the butt but there is no possible way to lock yourself out of a dead-bolt.
So, I'm standing there, at 1:00 in the afternoon in my pajamas. Which are basically booty shorts and a t-shirt. and of course I don't even have a bra on.
So I just try to keep myself level-headed, and try the door fifty more times just in case it might magically open. I could have tried some Harry Potter spells but I didn't really have a wand handy at the moment.
So I wander circles around the house, trying to find a way to break in. I try a few ways and let me tell you, I could not. Which is probably a good thing but geez it was frustrating. I'm pretty good at breaking into houses too, I've done this a few times. So forty-five minutes and facing my fear of heights and the dark to no avail later, I give up and decide I should probably get a phone to call Gretchen.
It appears as though most of the neighbors are gone. It's an afternoon week day, most people have jobs. So I finally choose a house across the street with cars in the drive-way, take a deep breath and walk over.
Now, don't ask me why, but most houses in the UP have these porch deals, so you practically have to walk into people's houses just so they can hear you knocking. And normally I love these things cuz they are super sweet to chill on, but I don't really want to be walking into random peoples homes in my pajamas.
The house I chose appears to not have one of these porch things. It turns out it did, but thankfully the other door was open so when I knocked, someone came to the door within five seconds. It was a very nice girl who was looking at my like I was half-crazy and I definitely played the part. I say hello and and explain to her that I am locked out of my sister's house and in my pajamas (as if that wasn't obvious) and can I please use her phone?
She laughs and laughs and pulls her cell phone our of her pocket. I check the time, and call Gretchen. Of course she doesn't answer because she is working so I just leave a message telling her to come save me and hang up. I exchange a few words with the lady and then walk back across the street, and I can hear her laughing as she goes back into her house.
I wander to the backyard, figuring I better get comfortable because I don't know how long Gretchen will be at work for. I water the vegetable garden and of course I'm still starving, so I snipe a cucumber and head to the play-house to eat it and wish I had chapstick. I have a cucumber-eating contest with myself and I win by eating one whole cucumber.
And now, don't judge me, I have horrible OCD and this was an extremely dire situation. It is only the second time I have ever done it, I promise. Irippedouttwopiecesofmyhairandused themtoflossmyteeth. I had to. Grass just breaks. And desperate times call for desperate measures.
Then I just sat out there and sang and did all kinds of crazy stuff with my hair and probably the next-door neighbors were watching me through the whole episode and laughing but you know what, they have this fence around their backyard that appears to serve no purpose so who are they to judge?
Two hours and thirty-five minutes after I first walked out the door, Gretchen finally pulls up from work. Thank goodness.
Moral of the story: never go anywhere without chapstick.

Preparations

2011-08-17T11:40:00.004-04:00

So, my darling is getting married this weekend, which means I get to head back home. Which I'm super excited for of course and stressed about, of course. Because I stress about everything.
I'm just glad it's not my wedding, cause I can't even imagine what kind of a wreck I would be in then.
My teeth would be clean, let me tell you that. I mean, I'm already flossing, brushing, mouth-washing 4-5 times a day. Because one thing I learned this week is stress definitely ups the OCD count. But that's okay, it's just temporary and no one died from flossing too much. My dentist will be proud.
I'm trying to avoid the excessive brushing though, because that is just awful, and my teeth are kind of starting to get sensitive.
I keep worrying that I'm going to forget to bring my shoes down or forget to pick up my dress or forget to show up to get my hair done or something. Or that's what I dream about forgetting anyways, and then her mom yells and me and I start crying.
Probably the best thing about this right now is living in a small town and buying stuff for the bachelorette party. So every store you go to, you see the same people and they see you buying the randomest things like slips and fish-net stockings and feathers. And you just smile awkwardly at them and then see them at the next store where you are frantically scanning the toy department for feather boas. And they are already staring at you anyways because apparently it's not normal to wear suspenders and hippie headbands in the UP.
Anywho.
Toodles. (I have NEVER said that in here before!)

Oh, Hey

2011-08-13T12:12:00.004-04:00

First and fore-most, I want to thank everyone for the responses to my last post, as long ago as it was. Thanks for the comments, texts and phone calls. Every one made me tear up, I'm so thankful to know such awesome people who would be there to support me. I am doing pretty good right now but it is nice to know that I have that. I also am here for anyone who needs the support through it. Trust me, I know it helps to talk about it because I never did. Thanks for confiding in me and letting me know you care, love you guys!
I have been a resident of the UP for a little over a month now. Yikes! I should be doing at least weekly updates because so much has happened, it's not even possible to re-cap it all.
In a nutshell, I love it up here. I drive around sometimes and I just still am in awe that I live in such a beautiful place. This is my home. And it really truly feels like it. For now. Until winter rolls around and I'll be packing up my bags and moving back south.
Honestly, I feel like I have not been anywhere up here. There's so many gorgeous places to go but I just spend all my time on the same one dock. So I want to make a point of getting out to different parts of the Keweenaw.
I drove up to Copper Harbor last night, just drove through and turned around but it is so pretty up there!! I have never been there in summer, that I can remember. It reminds me so much of where we go in Canada, and goodness knows I miss that. So I want to get a crew to go up there for the day some time.
I have been checking things off my Bucket List, which is actually still a work in progress. I think I have like 78 things written and five done. hah. Last week (I don't even know what day it is, so I guess my lifestyle hasn't changed too much), I checked off two of the sweetest ones so far: ride on a motorcycle and drive a moped. The motorcycle was actually a crotchrocket and was crazy. I won't say how fast we went because I don't want my mother to forbid me to hang out with this guy ever again, but we were up in the triple digits. Looking back I realize how utterly stupid it was because my helmet didn't even fit and I was basically holding it in place. But it was so worth it. The adrenaline rush and shakey knees. And driving the moped was just pure sweet. I want one of those things even more now.
I have been playing a lot of guitar. I have no internet or anything at my apartment so there's really not much else to do, so I guess it's kind of a good thing. And I always said that when I moved up I'd start playing again. I just love it and wouldn't give it up for anything at this point even though I'm still basically brutal.
Last weekend was kyds camping but I picked up some work shifts instead of going, which now I'm actually glad I did because my hours are really low this week and next week and I'm basically in debt and poor. On the way home from work on Friday, I was all stressed out and crabby, and I just WHALED the curb going unto the bridge. Rolled over it with two tires. And I was just laughing and laughing until like half a mile down where I realized I think I blew my back tire out. So then I started alternating between praying and cursing. And half a mile from my house, I was like shit, that thing is flat. But I kept driving, I refused to be stranded on the side of the road at midnight when everyone was at kyds camping. I got home and sure enough, that thing was flatter than a pancake. I was just shaking and crying and cursing and panicking. I had to work in the morning, hardly any of my friends were in town, and oh yeah, I had $11 to my name. I called my mom cause she always makes everything better. She got me calmed down enough to stop crying and figure out a plan. I got some guys to come over and put my spare on for me (THANK YOU!! :]) and then had to drive it to the tire place first thing in the morning.
That basically destroyed my weekend, adding another hundy to money I already owe my mom and I'm still just paranoid about the front tire. But I was so thankful for everyone that helped me out, I honestly don't know what I would have done. Seriously.
And tonight there is a full moon and the last of the big meteor showers. So we got a crew going camp out on the beach for it. Oh, I actually have a social life up here! Kind of a change, and I love it!
I hate doing these long boring posts but I thought I would do an update for my sisters and anyone who actually cares what I've been up to. I will start doing them more frequent because this is a little ridiculous.
Oh Viktor Krum, I was supposed to go get an oil change today!

On Facebook

2011-07-01T12:47:00.005-04:00

this morning, about three different celebs that I "like" posted links to anti-cyberbullying campaigns so I decided to share this.
This is something that I have never talked about, I actually don't know if I have really truly told anybody in my life, but here goes.

When I was 16, I started going through a rough spot with some of my friends at the time. I couldn't even tell you how it all started but they started to become really nasty, seemingly out of the blue. They would gang up on me, call me randomly just to say awful, untrue things.
They got other people involved too. It seemed wherever I went, I was being called names that were definitely unmerited.
I was always so glad at the end of the day when I went home from school and didn't have to deal with it anymore.
Except then they started attacking me online. And would call me on restricted. These were random guys that I have never really even talked to, calling me, telling me I'm fat and ugly and a b****, even though I've said all but two words to them in my life.
I was too scared to answer my phone. Every time it rang or I got a text, my heart would stop.
I was too scared to sign on MSN, afraid of what messages would be there.
I put on a brave face and brushed it off, sometimes even laughed. But in reality, I would go home and lock myself in my room for hours, crying and wondering what I ever did to deserve this.
I started to be paranoid that everyone was out to get me. If someone didn't smile at me, I would think, "oh my gosh, they hate me too."
I withdrew from all my friends, thinking that the whole world was out to get me.
Of course, this ultimately lead to depression.
Nobody is strong enough to deal with that.
Nobody.
Especially when no one knows except you.
Most days I could barely get myself out of bed to go to school.
I got through by praying and praying. And music. And knowing that it had to get better if I just pushed through.
And and it did. Eventually, things got better. I stopped crying every day, I started looking forward to school again, and I realized who my real friends were, for sure. And they don't even know how much they helped, just by being there. Particularly this lady.
Bullying is real.
Cyberbullying is real.
What you say to someone, especially on the internet, as harmless as it may seem, is going to be read by a real person.
I don't think people always realize that.
If it is something you wouldn't want said to you, your little sister, or your daughter, PLEASE don't send it.

I've Wanted To

2011-06-28T12:24:00.003-04:00

blog, but I don't really know how to put into words what I am feeling.
My heart has just been aching for these Christian families who have lost loved ones in the last week. It really makes you put everything into perspective. It's slightly terrifying but also such a blessing to know we all walk together in faith. I am continuously sending up prayers that the families can find comfort as they cope with the deaths of their loved ones. It's so hard sometimes, to come to terms with death and to remember that God's ways are not our ways.
In times like these, more than anything, we have to turn to our faith and those around us who believe the same way. And keep praying that we will always be found believing because we never know when our time will be to go.

Life Lately

2011-06-24T13:27:00.006-04:00

The girls and I went bowling last night, which we never do.

But I probably didn't have to state the obvious:
I actually won the second game. It was super fun, especially since we threw more gutter balls than anything. I'm pretty sure other people in the ally were laughing at us.
Actually I know they were.
I recall two people throwing the ball backwards. That happens on the Wii but I didn't think people actually did that in real life.
So they proved me wrong.
I did get one strike, after eleven gutter balls but still.

We went to my work then to play Life, since it was rainy and wet out:
(that's the Hubs and I in the yellow car with our kids Olivia and Lucy and our twins, Carson and Noah)

One of our new rules, besides having the opportunity to have extra kids, if you have too many, you have to buy an extendo to fit them all in, which Erica had to do:
She won. But she didn't have to send her kids to school for $50,000 each.
I never go to school and I always get the highest salary. But those little boogers always gotta go on my dime.

I Decided

2011-06-24T13:14:00.006-04:00

That I totally want to live on a farm.
A few weeks ago, we went to this fair deal because we were bored and it was free.
And it was awesome. It was total hickville, people wearing flannel and camo and the whole nine yards. All farm animals.
I loved it. I love animals. And these guys might become my second favorites:
How CUTE are they, seriously?
I would love to have one and just ride it around! So that's my new life goal.
There was also a tractor pulling contest, which was hilarious because I did not know that those things existed in real life.
It was kind of fun to watch. And farmers are totally cute.
When we were all farmed out, we headed back to town and played my favorite board game in the world, which I scored at a garage sale a few weeks back:
We made up a few rules of our own, which made it all the more fun.
I don't think I've laughed as hard in a very long time.
I won of course.

Weekend

2011-06-24T13:02:00.002-04:00

These are basically the only times I took pictures last weekend.
Which, by the way, was the best St. Johns EVER.
Softball:
(of course I didn't play. I kept score)
The parade:
(they hopped on the back of a fire truck that was in the parade)
It was a pretty sweet one if you can't tell.
I wish the weather would have been nicer but what can ya do?
I love being old enough to have our own place to stay, old enough to have friends, old enough to go anywhere and do anything, old enough to do what you want and get away with it.
It's nice not being a little kid anymore. Plus I realized how young I am still.

I Never Thought I Would

2011-06-24T00:18:00.002-04:00

become THAT person.
This past weekend at St. John's, I was just disgusted during the lunch they served.
And not by the food.
Everyone got a fork, knife, and spoon rolled in a napkin.
I only used my fork, and I'm sure a lot of other people did too.
I know they probably did it to speed up the line (which actually went really, really fast) but still, it was such a waste, I was kind of disappointed.
Plus they served ALL the beverages in styrofoam cups, which they actually always do for big service weekends but I never really thought about it until then. With our styrofoam plates and cups, I don't even want to think about how much waste that is. because that stuff does not break down.
And it made me come to the realization of how much of a tree-hugger I really am. And how much I really can't help it. And I wouldn't want to, even if I could.
Oh well.

I have not

2011-06-23T11:31:00.003-04:00

blogged for a few reasons.
1. I HATE HATE the letter verifications with a burning passion. Every time they ask for them, I just x them out and don't go back for a few days. and usually the same thing happens. So I never get signed on. My blood is still boiling because I had to do one just now.
2. It's been crazy. I haven't known where to start
3. Except for with my job interview, which I didn't want to mention because I didn't want to jinx anything.
Sunday night, I tried to go to bed early because I felt like crap and was obviously exhausted from not sleeping all weekend. or eating.
The St. John's diet takes a heavy toll on ya.
So I was sleeping by 4. I tried.
I woke up at nine, curled my greasy hair, gagged down two eggs and headed out.
Checked myself in Gretchen's car mirror when I got there, hoped they wouldn't notice my greasy hair and headed in.
I totally was not nervous at all, which is weird. I haven't been on a job interview for more than three years.
They were all super nice, like they always are, the other time I went in there and when I've talked on the phone.
I read over some paperwork and then chatted with two supervisors.
It wasn't really even an interview, they asked me one question I think.
They talked about what I would be doing and when I would start and everything.
And I was super relaxed the whole time.
I walked out thinking, I got this.
But then when I got home and my practically empty stomach started turning around and the no sleep started catching up to me, I started second-guessing myself.
I have been so nervous the last few days, just waiting for the call, hoping and praying.
And just after eleven this morning, Jessie James started singing on my phone, waking me up. And I read the caller ID and my heart just started pounding.
I just launched myself out of bed and tried to sound awake.
When she asked if I was still interested in the job I practically shouted YES!
I was totally shaking and giddy the whole time she was talking to me.
And I'm still pretty giddy.
So guess who will be moving to the UP in two weeks?
THIS GIRL.

2011-06-17T01:06:00.001-04:00

Hunger and laziness are a deadly combination.

Fishy

2011-06-16T16:30:00.003-04:00

I have had this obsession with fish-tail braids these past few months.
So I totally wanted to try them out.
And I kind of want to wear them every single day for the rest of my life.
And I might, but when my hair is longer.
I wore it on the side:
But my hair isn't long enough, all the layers start popping out after awhile.
pigtail braids work, even though I feel like I'm five:
But I still like them.
I love these things, for real. They are so easy and so much cuter than normal braids.
Also, I am super glad that I took pictures when I was in my pj's both times. :D

Oh Yikes

2011-06-16T16:16:00.005-04:00

I didn't realize how truly much I have been neglecting this thing.
Basically, I have been doing nothing productive.
Basically, when it's nice out, I spend all day reading by the pool.
And when it's not, I spend all day doing nothing.
But Paige came here this week, so naturally, we had a surprise shower for her.
I had a tough time keeping this a secret.
The gift, not the shower.
I have been seeing them all over on craft blogs so I have been itching to make one and lucky for me, the other bridesmaids went with it.
I started with this:
Vintage, dirty, ugly color.
Scrubbed it down and sprayed it:
Better hey?
And then we got some wood and chalkboard paint and Kara did the chalkboard part:
Pretty sweet, hey? :)
Awkward picture of the bride-to-be with it. But I love her :)
Myself, Paige, Karissa and Kara (we plus Kathleen M. are standing).
We picked up our dresses. And I just have to get it fitted and I will be golden.
I'm super pumped because they are so gorgeous in the right color, I love them.
So much better than the nasty pastels they had us try on.

I Swear,

2011-06-07T12:05:00.002-04:00

Some days, I just want to uproot and hitch hike out to California and live on the beach.
And make living selling shells I find on the shore.
In place where you can get away with wearing your bathing suit year-round.
I will always have beach hair.
And not wear shoes.
And watch the sun set every night.
I'd be like Ivy from 90210.
Even though I think her character is super annoying.
That'd be the life.

I am thankful for...

2011-06-06T13:07:00.002-04:00

...the mess to clean up after a party: because it means I have been surrounded by friends.
...the taxes I pay: because it means that I'm employed.
...the clothes that fit a little too snug: because it means I have enough to eat.
...my shadow who watches me work: because it means I am out in the sunshine.
...the spot I find at the far end of the parking lot: because it means I am capable of walking.
...all the complaining I hear about our government: because it means we have freedom of speech.
...that lady behind me in church who sings off key: because it means that I can hear.
...lawn that needs mowing, windows that need cleaning and gutters that need fixing: because it means I have a home.
...my huge heating bill: because it means that I am warm.
...weariness and aching muscles at the end of the day: because it means that I have been productive.
...the alarm that goes off in the early morning hours: because it means that I am alive.

[Nancie J. Carmody]

Pillsbury Doughboy

2011-06-03T00:10:00.003-04:00

Molly has been "poking" me on Facebook all the time.
Honestly, I didn't even know that that feature existed anymore.
But she was poking me, I'd poke her back, she'd poke me. Basically went on and on because I was doing it from my phone.
It's so annoying but I just couldn't stop poking her back.
So I had this genius idea.
When I got home. Actually, when I got home I went on the computer for about an hour.
And then I went up into her room at like 1:30 in the A.M.
Of course, all the lights were off and she was sleeping.
But when I walked in, she woke up and saw me coming.
And saw that I was walking towards her.
And started freaking out.
What? What?? Oh my gosh, what are you doing?? What?
She was acting like I was a murderer. And she probably thought that too. Otherwise thought I was sleep-walking, because that stuff is freaky.
So I just go up to her. Watch her freak out for a second. and poke her.
Then I turn and walk away.
Except halfway to the door I just bust my gut. Because she's still trying to figure out what is going on.
I'm going to wait a few days, then I'll do it again.
I, on the other hand, am sleeping with my door locked.

My Hey Stephen Song

2011-06-02T11:30:00.010-04:00

Just in case this post didn't do it for you in proving how much of a creep I was.
But honestly, how could I not write a song about it? This was like the whole highlight of my high school career.
And I know you totally are not going to believe me on this now but I am NOT truly in love with him. But it sure is fun to pretend :)
And I should probably hide this but honestly, my blog isn't too high-traffic and quite frankly, I really don't care.

I don't believe in love at first sight
But how could I not stare
When you look just like an angel
And I tell people I fell in love right there
At sixteen my heart had never been broken
So I guess that's why I gave it to you

I passed you in the hallway every day
And I tried to catch your eye
I thought if we could just be friends
Maybe I would have chance
And every wish I had I wasted on you
But you didn't even know my name

If I could only say

Chorus:
Hey Stephen, I just have to let you know
You're perfect in every way
And I don't care what people say
I just want to be with you
And if you want to be with me
Let's run away together
And live happily forever
But if this is wrong
I'll always have my hey Stephen song

We talked every day at 2:00
But there's some things that I kept inside
Like how I had your picture on my phone
Your voice was my ring-tone
Before we met I knew everything about you
I think it's best that I didn't say

Chorus

We don't talk much anymore
And it's such a shame
But I still see you in my dreams
And maybe someday you'll realize
But you have a girl-friend now
And we both lead separate lives

Alternate Chorus:
But hey, Stephen, I just had to let you know
You're perfect in every way
And I don't care what people say
I still want to be with you
And if you want to be with me
Let's run away together
We can live happily forever
I know it's wrong
But I had to write my hey Stephen song

This Weekend

2011-06-01T15:30:00.006-04:00

Kinda slipped away. And it's Wednesday already so WHOA.
K, I got a sewing machine at a garage sale last Friday. Except I haven't even looked at it since I bought it. I will when I get my bedroom back.
(Jeff and Heidi are here again, and still. But I don't mind cuz their kid is cuuute)
I drove out to Lake Michigan yesterday with a few friends.
I was super excited when we got there (around 10 am) because it was gorgeous.
It was supposed to be 90 and sunny.
Turns out it was about 65 and WINDY.
I'm kicking myself because I didn't get any pictures. I'm actually punching myself in the face.
It's so nice, to even have just ONE group picture so you can jog your memory about the day. Remember who was there, what you did and what it was like.
It was really cold when we were first got there, we basked in the sun for a little bit but then the sun went away so we were just bundling up in our towels.
So we decided it was pointless to sit there so we packed up and drove around for a bit.
Then the sun came out so we went back, ate lunch and had some fun in the warmth for awhile.
We played the Ipod game(put headphones in, turn up as loud as it goes, and sing out loud).
There was nobody within hearing distance of us after a while. They kept packing up and leaving.
And it was super fun/hilarious, I love that game.

Then the clouds came out and it got cold again. So we all wrapped up in towels and cat-napped.
And then we just decided to head home early. It was a pretty fun day though the weather could have been better.
But maybe that was best because none of us got completely fried.
We all got a little pink but didn't turn into cooked lobster.
Oh, I totally didn't even mention. It was WINDY. WINDY. You wouldn't believe the places sand got.
If you left your towel laying down, it would be covered with sand within five minutes.
There was sand in our bags, hair, ears, eyes, nose, mouth, water bottles, everywhere.
I don't even know how it managed to get the places it did, but it did.
I've never been so sandy in my life. I probably could've made my own beach.

I found out what my gas light looks like. It was the first time it had ever come on.
It took a full tank to get there and back.
Gas is too expensive.

What I've Been Working On

2011-05-27T00:15:00.005-04:00

This, which I bought a garage sale last year for $3 and painted white:
I painted it over with my free paint from Benjamin Moore's Facebook page. And did that stuff.
Also, I painted the bookcase next to it white, which had previously been just wood. Which I got from a garage sale for $4 last week.
This is what color I painted it. I obviously didn't let the white paint dry long enough before I painted the teal. So it didn't work out. I'm way too tired to explain this right now.
AND. I learned how to embroider today. This is the second thing that I made. Molly wanted me to embroider something for her so here it is.
And way way too tired, I'm off to bed, I will blog a less vague post some other time.
More garage sales in the morning! :)

This Really IS Fun

2011-05-25T00:08:00.004-04:00

I promise I won't talk about my being ill. Because I am feeling pretty okay today.
Today all the bridesmaids except the one in the UP went out to David's Bridal to get measured and to put in an order for our dresses for this lady's wedding. Which totally would have been a heck of a lot more fun if the bride herself would have been there.
Not like it was super exciting anyways. We just tried on the dress in absolutely hideous colors, figured out what size to order and got our measurements or something, ah, I don't really know how those things work!
But I learned two things:
My hips are disproportionately large for my body.
And I "sashay" when I walk.
Which is probably due to the aforementioned.
I was between sizes in dresses, due to my hips falling in a different size dress than they rest of my body. But the dresses are flowy and forgiving so I was able to go with the size down, which is cutting it close on my hips and too loose everywhere else.
So we put our order in for our dresses and decided to stop at the shoe store to see if we could find shoes.
Thank goodness we have such a wonderful bride in this, who really isn't crazy bridezilla, controlling every detail of what we are wearing, so she basically trusted us to find our own shoes.
And we did.
And I LOVE them. LOVE them. Usually, they would totally be like too dressy or not me, but seriously, I just adore them.
I didn't want to take them off.
They are perfect, in heel height, comfort, look, everything. Plus they will look super good with the dresses.
Plus the cost of them, plus the dress is way less than I thought we would be spending. Which is a huge bonus.
So everyone can see them in August. I can't wait! :))

And I totally forgot, this whole post was supposed to be about my painting but obviously I got side-tracked.
I will be painting my book case tomorrow with the distressed look and will share pictures. I love painting!

This Is Fun

2011-05-23T23:45:00.004-04:00

I have not been blogging for the past few days, mainly because it's the weekend and probably even more so because I have been way not feeling too sweet.
I went to bed on Friday night with my throat starting to feel a little scratchy. I thought, oh great.
I get throat viruses ALL. THE. TIME. I wish I could have my tonsils removed, it is so brutal, I absolutely hate it.
I woke up on Saturday with my glands and tonsils swollen. It was so painful.
I was debating whether to even go garage saling but I decided to. (it was dreadful but I was glad I went, I will share that later).
I took some Motrin, hoping that would ease it up a bit. but it didn't.
My tonsils hurt so bad, I don't remember them ever hurting so much. And I get horrible viruses ALL.THE.TIME. But never like this.
Plus, my tonsils had white streaks on them. So I figured I'd better get tested for strep, especially with all these kiddos around here.
I went to the doctors, and the guy in front of me, my goodness. He kept talking and talking and talking to the receptionist. And talking.
I was trying to get to the counter to sign in but every time he backed up a little and I tried to squeeze forward, he stepped forward again.
I was getting super annoyed, here my tonsils feel like I ate glass for breakfast and he's just telling the lady how he had McDonald's for lunch yesterday.
She kept shooting me sympathetic looks and trying to end the conversation but he just kept right on going.
I was like oh great, this guy's in front of me, he's going to be talking to the doctor like this and I will be stuck waiting forever.
It wasn't forever, but it was longer than I had hoped.
I got my tonsils swabbed until I started gagging.
Except the strep test came back negative. Ugh.
Sometimes I wish that it would be strep, just so I could get it cured.
But the doctor gave me a prescription for antibiotics anyways.
So I was taking those.
I was debating whether to call in sick to work or not, I was so miserable and it hurt to talk or swallow.
I just felt too bad to so I went in anyways (I think I've called in sick to work once in the past three and a half years, and that's because I was puking my guts out)
Which I immediately regretted.
They had called somebody else off, we were so slow so they easily could have done without me.
Of course I had to keep talking to customers and everything.
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, I was super nauseous.
I did not want to be there, in that misery. But still, I had to stay until almost midnight.
And I will not lie, I started crying at one point, it was just so awful and I was so angry to be working when they easily could have done without me.

I survived, though barely.
Sunday we went to the zoo and it was basically the same thing, constant pain to talk or swallow, maybe without so much nausea. Though on the way home I kept like gagging on my tonsils, they were so swollen.
So awful. I decided these antibiotics weren't doing anything for the pain so I figured I better go out and get some essential oils. Except it was Sunday night so no whole foods places were open.
I ended up getting tea tree oil from Meijer and have been rubbing that on my neck. And put it in my sauna water.
I woke up today with a dull sore throat and a cough. And my voice sometimes threatens to disappear. But believe me, I will take a cold or laryngitis over swollen, white tonsils any day.
I feel so much better. I can't believe it was only two days that I suffered through that, it felt like forever.
Now hopefully it continues to disappear. And I am crediting the oil for the disappearance of the pain a lot more than I am the antibiotics.
I just wish I didn't have these stupid huge things in the back of my throat, they are more of a pain than anything.